The Secret (Boston's Best 1)

Chapter Sixty-Two

Maddie

What the hell was I thinking?

I can't do this.

Who thought it would be a good idea for me, me, to stand up in front of fifty reporters and be recorded live for the whole nation to see.

I'm going to vomit.

This will be a disaster and I'll be the laughing stock of the country.

I bet I'll start blubbering and I'll break down and obviously it will be recorded and memorialised forever and it shall haunt me for the rest of my life.

I am going to die. This is my end. My demise.

"Maddie?" Aebhín says softly, placing her hand on my arm. "I think you've reached your ten thousand steps in the last five minutes. You need to stop pacing or else your feet are gonna fall off from all the friction."

"I'm going to trip and fall flat on my face, and there'll be a meme and I'm just going to be forced to flee the country and hide out in an imaginary place where no one lives and I can end my final days in peace."

"Like Fermanagh?" She suggests.

I gasp and spin around to face her, "Exactly like Fermanagh! Like really who actually lives there? Cause I've met someone or know of someone that lives in literally every other county but Fermanagh." I laugh, "Maybe that's where all of our supposed leprechauns live."

"Maddie, stop it. You're spiralling." She grabs my shoulders and steers me towards the couch. "Sit. I'll grab you a glass of water."

I obey Miss Bossiness, and sit down on the couch in the middle of our hotel room.

My press conference got arranged with RTÉ for this afternoon, five days before my court appearance.

And frankly, I'm not as prepared as I should be.

Say, if it was one of my friends in this situation, I would've read up on everything possible about it so that I understand completely what's going on and so I can help them understand.

But because I'm an idiot, I've done nothing but try not to think about it all. Which in hindsight now, I realise was stupid, beacuse I now am going to go to my own court day and I haven't a clue what's going to happen.

I'm terrified.

Terrified of seeing Seán and his grandad.

Terrified of the perception that people have of me now.

Terrified of what my friends must think of me.

Terrified of letting my family down, again.

Just, terrified.

Aebhín sits down beside me and hands me a glass of water, "Thanks." I mumble.

"Maddie–" She starts but I cut her off.

"No, Aebhín. Look, I'm stressed out, as one would be in my situation. But it's already past twelve and we need to be downstairs and ready by two. So, we should be down there getting ready like twenty minutes ago. Okay?"

She nods but looks at me with concern, "Okay, but Mads, talk to me today. Communicate with me. You'll need it and I'll need it to stay sane. Please?"

"Okay."

We grab our bags and head out of the room and down five floors on the lift until we walk through the lobby of the hotel and into the 'conference' room.

The RTÉ crew is already setting up. Placing cameras and lights and a group of people are putting down loads of chairs. At the top of the room is a makeshift looking stage and a podium that I assume is for me to stand at.