ShadowPeach Oneshots

End The Suffering

Xiaotian relaxed with his sister Bae-hi on the couch. Since Macaque and Wukong practically took them in as their own children, the shadow demon forced Pigsy to give the brunette weekends off. It was a long argument but thanks to Tang, Macaque finally won. Mk had to give it to Pigsy though, he put up one hell of a fight. So for his first official day off he decided to start ot off with a monkey king marathon and Bae-hi was more than happy to join him.

Macaque made his coffee and walked up behind them "don't you have this memorized by now?"

Mk grinned "absolutely! But Bae-hi's never seen it!"

Bae-hi nodded earning an eye roll from her father. Wukong finally dragged himself out of bed and joined his family in the living room. Looking at the tv the monkey king chuckled "starting your weekend off right?"

Mk grinned "I now have something to look foward to!"

Wukong's smile turned into a devilish grin. The shadow monkey caught the action in the corner of his eyes. It was the kind of smile the king used to get when he pranked some one. Macaque had a feeling he wasn't going to like what was about to happen.

"Hey kids do you know what days are the strongest?" Wukong's tail swished behind him.

Macaque's eyes widened and dread washed over him "peaches please no."

Bae-hi and Xiaotian shared a confused look then looked at the king "no?"

Wukong's grin grew wider which Macaque didn't think was possible "saturday and sunday. The rest are week days~"

The kids just stared at him horrified and Macaque groaned in pain "buddha save me."

Wukong burst into laughter, macaque walked away shaking his head. Bae-hi gave him a pity laugh while Mk was just disgusted. He didn't think the monkey king enjoyed dad jokes.

~~~~~~~~~

Silver laughed as he told the others about their wife's mishap in the bakery today. Meiying face flushed embarrassed, it's not her fault she was so tired. She would never live down leaving the milk carton in the display case all day. She even tried to sell it to customers, she was convinced it was a cake. Macaque and Wukong laughed as Princess Iron Fan and Demon Bull king chuckled.

"You should see our son when he's tired" Iron Fan smirked.

Red Son glared from his spot on the floor, with the rest of the kids. Bae-hi had wanted to play a board game so Mk, Red, and Xuiying joined her.  Xuiying and Mk held in their chuckles knowing well the mistakes the fire demon makes when he's tired.

"How's the bakery doing?" Bull king ignored the glare his son sent his wife.

Meiying pouted "we have to fix a few appliances, I wish we had the spare money to take a vacation...."

Macaque felt Wukong's tail thumped rapidly against his leg. He looked up to see his mate wearing a large grin. He filed his head confused.

"I dont get why bakers aren't wealthier" wukong tried holding in his laugh "they make so much dough."

Iron Fan and Bull King looked disgusted. Mk, bae-hi, Red son and Xuiying called groaned in pain. Silver and Macaque shook their heads. Meiying however burst into laughter. Dad jokes and puns were right up the fox spirits alley.

"H-hey wukong, why don't bakers share their recipes?" Meiying tried holding in her giggles.

Wukong grinned "why?"

Silver groaned "hunnie please no"

"Cause their on a knead to know basis!" Meiying burst into laughter.

Wukong laughed and Silver groaned "this is what I have to deal with."

Macaque sighed "Wukong's been just as bad recently."

"It only gets worse" Silver chuckles.

The shadow demon was afraid he would say that. He glanced over at the monkey king who looked so proud of himself.

~~~~~~~~

Mk yawned as he moved down the hallway, he had three hours till he had to be at the noodle shop. Walking into the living room he saw Wukong being lifted up by one of his own clones, he was fiddling with the ceiling light.

"What are you doing monkey king?"

Monkey king grinned "well bud, I'm changing this light bulb."

Mk looked confused when he heard a small chuckle come from the king "everything ok?"

"No..I'm worried I'll screw it up" Wukong laughed.

Mk groaned "oh god I'm going to work early!" Mk grabbed his bag and left the house.

~~~~~

Bae-hi sat at the counter working on her homework. Wukong was sitting with her, eating some peaches. He offered to help with her homework but he couldn't read and his spelling wasn't the best. So honestly he was just there to keep her company.

"Mr. Wukong can I have an apple?"

"Sure thing kiddo" the king got up and grabbed the fruit from his bowl, while snagging a few more peaches.

"You really like apples huh? Your the only one who seems to eat them." Wukong handed her the apple and sat down.

"Well you know what they say" bae-hi bit into the fruit "an apple a day keeps the doctor away."

Wukong snorted and grinned "it does if you throw it hard enough."

Bae-hi frowned and gave him a stoic look, wukong laughed. She sighed and grabbed her homework. She slid out of the chair and decided to move to her room, that was better than hearing these terrible jokes.

~~~~~~

Macaque let out soft purrs as he rested on his mates chest and felt the golden monkey draw circles into his back. This was his favorite part of the night. Curling up with his sun, enjoying the slow rhythm of his heart beat and the warmth of his body.

"Hey mango."

"Hmmmm?" Macaque happily sighed, his eyes closed as he was drifting to sleep.

"Bae-hi gave me a 'world's best dad' mug today."

Macaque yawned "that's nice peaches..."

"I didn't think she could inherit my sense of humor" Wukong smiled.

Macaque's eyes shot open, another dad joke. How was he not sick of these yet? He let out a small growl warning the other to stop while he was ahead. Wukong didn't seem to get this warning as he got a cheeky grin.

"Do you know why fish are so smart?"

"Wukong" another growl left the shadow monkey.

"They live in schools~" Wukong snorted and chuckled to himself.

Macaque pulled away and looked Wukong in the face. His eye twitched in annoyance and the golden monkey gave him a nervous smile. The shadow demon kicked the monkey king out of the bed and curled up facing away from him. Wukong groaned as he hit the floor. Unfortunately this was their life now, Wukong was now a dad and that meant they had to put up with his terrible dad jokes.

"Your not that angry right mango?" Wukong slowly got back into bed.

Macaque sighed and smiled at him "you know the fastest way to spread news isn't on the internet...."

Wukong tilted his head confused and Macaque chuckled "it's by telling your mom!"

Wukong grinned, if the monkey king was going to start using dad jokes then Macaque might as well torture the kids with mom jokes. Wukong pulled the shadow demon into a loving kiss "you completely me mango~"

"I know peaches~" Macaque purred and  went back to laying on the kings chest. They happily curled up and fell asleep. The poor kids would never know peace now.