And I Will Consume You

37

"I love you too"

Pete sighed contently, almost relieved to head Vegas say those words again. Their lips met in a sweet embrace for a moment before parting again. Pete didn't want to interrupt Vegas too much while he was working- that was generally a bad idea, but with Vegas even more so. Watching Pete stand up from his lap, Vegas let his chin fall to sit on his thumb "I've neglected you again, haven't I? I'm sorry Pete... If I had had the choice, I'd never have gotten involved with this buisness in the first place... this family is a curse..." Vegas hummed, mostly to himself as to confess his sins and take the chance to repent as soon as he could. "Don't say that" Pete said softly, now sitting himself on the desk adjacent Vegas. "In all bad there is good, and in all good there is bad. Your family has caused you a lot of pain in the past... but what about your family here now?" Pete started, grabbing Vegas' attention again; who had almost returned to work. "I took the main family for granted for far too long, and I now realize what a mistake that had been. Vegas, just because certain parts of your life, certain memories hurt, doesn't mean that all of them do. And it doesn't speak for all future events to come. If you hadn't been born into this family, I would never have met you. I'd likely still be working for the main family, or I'd maybe already be long dead. Vegas, our past doesnt speak for us. We get to choose our own destinies, thats the beauty of it all- isn't it?"

A small smile cracked it's way to Vegas' face, replacing the stressed frown that had carved it's way his skin over the past few hours. "You're right." He smiled soft, closing his laptop and getting up from the ornate leather desk chair to stand between lover's legs, placing his hands on either side of the boys waist. "Come... Work can wait. You're the most important thing in the world to me, now and always." Vegas pulled Pete into a tight hug, nuzzling his face into the others neck again to embrace the comforting scent emenating from him. Pete hugged him back just as tightly, now being the one to stroke his hand throug Vegas' deep brown hair and placing a gentle kiss under his ear. They stayed like that for a while, and though it did seem like forever, Pete wished it could have lasted just a few moments longer. He felt so safe in Vegas' arms- the exact opposite from in the beginning. Even before that he'd flinched every time Vegas sent so much as a glance his way. There was something about that steely gaze even way back when he first started that sent shivers down his spine. Now, it aroused a while different set of emotions, though with Venice here, he got to see it a lot more. Since a handful of their options had been erased, Vegas had resorted to eye-fucking and sneaky pecks in the back of his neck when no one was looking to remind him who he belonged to. And while it wasn't nearly as nice as a twenty minute make-out session on the kitchen counter or being face fucked on his knees under the man's desk, it let him know that the desire to do so was still there.

"When Venice goes back to school... You and I are going to have to... Catch up" Vegas gunned softly, leaning in to graze Pete's lip with his own, cupping the boys face with one hand as he did so. "Is that all you think about?" Pete snorted sarcastically, knowing well that if it were, he wouldn't be sat here right now. "No. No, you're not all I think about. But I wish you were. Life would be a lot sweeter that way. Sweet like saccharine. I'd get toothache" And while Vegas' words came off playfully, both he and Pete knew that there was truth behind the facade. If only he could think of Pete all day. If only his intrusive thoughts were made up of Pete, and not his father, or his mother, or work, or the same bloody pit he found himself constantly falling back down into. It seemed that no matter how happy he was, how happy he thought he'd feel forever with Pete by his side, eventually he'd crash back down to the miserable deapths, clawing at the walls of his own mind like a prisoner. If that wasn't hell enough, his cellmates just so happened to be all of his worst memories he'd tried so hard to bury; Like the living dead they always crawled back out of their graves. His father, long dead and buried, still managed to haunt him so. Why? That simple question had been playing on repeat since the day he died. Why did he feel sad? Wasn't it good? Wasn't it good that he was finally free from his fathers standards- from his judgement and his cruelty? Maybe it wasn't, because either way, Vegas' Pa died before he could prove himself. Before he could make him proud. Before he could finally prove to his dad that he was worthy of being his son. Now, Vegas wasn't sure what he was worthy of. Certainly not being Pete's lover. Their lives together had been so joyful and so miserable at once. He could tell that Pete wasn't entirely fullfilled living like this, and it hurt to hold him back, but there was nothing Vegas feared more than letting Pete go. Pete made him so happy, made him feel calm and at peace even just for a little while. But knowing that he was the one holding his lover back from achieving his full potential, from doing what he loved. It sucked. Was there a choice he had to make? And if so, couldn't someone just take that burden off of Vegas' shoulders? Surely he'd been through enough by now. Surely, whatever vengeful God was ruling over his life, surely he'd done enough to please them by now.

"You're thinking too much again, aren't you Vegas?" Pete said, breaking the silence when he noticed the shift of emotion behind his eyes. "Is it that obvious?" Pete sighed, taking a moment to collect himself and think. Should he ask, or should he leave it alone? Vegas probably wouldn't open up to him about it. He never did. Vegas wasn't the type of person to talk about himself like that- he didn't like being vulnerable. Pete on the other hand? He was the polar opposite. An optimist and a pessimist, the sunshine itself and the darkest night. Who could make for a better couple? "I love you, and you love me. That's all there is to think about right now. Venice is happy, I'm happy. Why aren't you happy? Tell me... Honestly... Please" Vegas eyes moved to look away- anywhere else and eventually settling on the pile of papers under his right hand.

"I'm holding you back, aren't I? You're not happy living like this- At least not completely. You want to live a normal life right? With a job and peace and quiet, in a comfy little neighbourhood where we don't have to worry about Venice getting hurt? I can't give that to you... Not in this life. And I'm sorry." Pete felt tears well in his eyes, threatening to spill any second. This bastard really had the gall to think about something like this. "You idiot" Pete sniffled out, still trying to contain his tears. "Just being with you is enough. Yes, That's what I thought my life would be after I retired from the main family, but I would give that all up in a second... for you. Vegas, I can live happily without all those things. And while they would be nice, I know that might not happen. But I can't live happily without you. Didn't you say it yourself? 'To live without you, only that would be torture. A second alone, only that would be death'."

"Vegas, listen to me. I don't want to die if it's not by your side."