My Unwritten Piece

Dear Jesus

Dear Jesus

How does my first day went? Beautiful! Because even though there were a lot of lies filling my ears, because of Your goodness, it turned out beautiful! Praise You! Before the day begun, I already think about the things that could please you. I was thinking what I should feel, act or even thought to please You in this first day. I tried to spend time with You so I could have whatever I need to love my classmates and share the Gospel to them. I tried. But I failed. I was so coward and faithless to represent you, even hearing Your name ashamed me. I was a fool. I felt down at that time because I just think I could not be any better. I could not learn. I could not sacrifice. I could not accept judgement and persecution for You. I thought that's only it, but my friend Faith took a leap of faith in front of me. She was so good to be confident. She was so good to say Your name. And it just made me feel like a loser. It made me feel like a stubborn one. I just could not believe that she was so good at pleasing You. I was jealous. I envied her. I cried secretly that time. It just hurts me, God. She was amazing while I was...I was a burden. But because You are good, you opened my eyes and made me realize that this is not a game. This is not a competition. I never thought that I was just loving the idea that I'm loving them not them being loved. I was only thinking about myself again, wasn't I, God? I'm sorry. Forgive me Jesus, that sometimes I cannot love them the way I am supposed. I'm sorry that I only look at the good things of me and hate the potentials of others. I'm sorry! And thank You for giving me such a good, faithful friend. It just amazes me that I thought she was just a weird girl, but when I know her deeper? Lord, she's a gem. She knows how to love herself, accept herself, defend herself and stand for herself. I thank You for letting us meet. I thank you for a friend like her. I thank You for this day. I thank You for the lessons. I thank You for the smiles. I thank You for reigning over my life. I thank You for dying for us and I thank You for who you are. I love you.

Your servant
Yssa

Aug.22.22