It wasn't his fault
It was never his fault
With life comes maturity
The weight of the world
Pain
Suffering
It's all a part of this game
This game we call life
This game we all play
Mom
It wasn't his fault
You left him
Locked him up
Kept him trapped
In a cell like my own
The only difference
Was that his was behind
Cold metal bars
And mine was behind
Plushy warm walls
Insanity
Both of us have it
Both of us are insane
You are the only sane one,
Mom.
I just hope you didn't find me
After this drug-induced sleep
I just wanted to rest
To calm my mind
I write this now
To let you know
I didn't really mean to
It wasn't his fault
It was mine
I just needed the voices to fade
I needed the headache to go away
It was an easy decision
The meds
The doctor
He told me
Only one a day
But trusted me
To hold them myself
Trusted me
Trust
Something we lack
As humans, we lack
Trust
Mom never trusted me
Not after the incident
Or should I say
Incidents
Doors were removed
But I didn't do that
I didn't choose to do that
It wasn't my choice
J did it
She hurt me
She dug deep into my arms
With whatever she could find
And I lived with the repercussions
The hospital visits
The psych ward
The pain
I can't handle this pain anymore
I can't control this pain anymore
Mom doesn't know about yesterday
I took control before she found out
Before the cuts were too deep
Before the blood loss was
Too extreme
Too deadly
I had Jordan come out
I had him bandage me
I had him care for me
While the pain was
Errupting from my body
Jordan saved me
He hid the pain behind the wall
Behind the bricks
A deep green moss
He hid the pain
On the other side
While I cried on the inside
I knew something was wrong
When she took my sight
When the world went dark
And the wall came up
I banged my fists
Until they bled
I banged and banged
Trying to knock down the wall
Break it
Brick by brick
But it was no use
I needed Jordan
Turning back to the mind
The dark abyss
Beyond the dimly lit wall
I screamed
"JORDAN"
In an instant
He was running
Running
To me
Running
To save me
But he wasn't fast enough
Wasn't strong enough
No one was able to save me
Not in time
So here I sit
Writing this out
Before I go take those pills
That I know I need
That I know will bring pain
But only after
After releasing my suffering
Only after releasing my pain
The anguish I feel
YOU ARE READING
It Hurts
Algemene fictieThe story of Josephine. My therapist says I am missing something Something important is missing Does it matter? No. If anything is important I would obviously remember it
