I'm starting to see a pattern in how I'm feeling. Around Tuesdays is when I start falling apart and don't want to adult, especially right now since I need to do laundry and go grocery shopping. And then the rest of the week is me trying to pull myself all back together and be exhausted while doing it. This life sucks, but it sucks the most because I'm not on meds and and I'm not talking to anyone about my problems like I should. But I'm getting better and if I keep doing the little things things get better in the long run. Like I will get home after doing groceries, I'll start a load of laundry, take the dogs out, unpack groceries, set aside something for dinner, change the laundry over, empty the dishwasher, then refill it, wash things by hand, add more money to the dryer, start cooking dinner, add more money again, finish dinner, eat, take the dogs out again, get a shower, maybe fold laundry, and then go to bed so I can do a lot of this all over again. Maybe I'll go to Walmart, find thing that I need for the other bathroom so I can do hand washing better. I just did grocery shopping and it took me less than an hour get it all done. I guess I know how to get what I want at Walmart. Or I just wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible. Or I am subconsciously trying to see how fast I can get everything done, which in all honesty I hope that is what actually happening. Let's be honest anxiety and depression do weird wonders on how fast you do things.
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غير روائيI don't know what this is. There is only one tag because I don't really want anyone to read this, I need a space to write and get things out. I really don't know where I am at the moment in my life anymore so I'm going to try something to help me.
