My Savior

Introduction

My name is Mia, I'm 18 years old and I'm suicidal.

I know, great intro, right?

I wish I could tell you fascinating stories about how I am dating the most popular guy in school, or how I have a group of amazing friends that go to wild parties with me up until all hours, but I'm afraid my life isn't that simple.

I'm suicidal for the exact opposite reason. I don't have friends that I go to parties with, I don't have a popular boyfriend, in fact, I have no friends. Even my parents ( who I am supposed to turn to for support ) mock me, call me names and abuse me.

I'm alone. And I've always been alone up until I met Riley online whom I've never actually seen in real life, merely shared mindless chatter over the web. She's been a great friend to me as far as online friends go. She's helped me through my darkest times from when I used to cut up until now with the issues I am facing with my parents. Sometimes I still dream about picking up the blade but then I remember the pact I had made with Riley, that I would never cut again.
Riley has truly been by my side through thick and thin.

My parents, well, what can I say? They aren't your typical guardian figures. In fact, they fare for the linear opposite of that. They push me around, call me dreadful names and make me feel miserable. They are the reasons that I feel like going into the bathroom and cutting my wrists.

School. Fucking school. Two words; Living Hell. Almost everyone bullies me, picks on me, swears at me. Try my parents but twice as bad. These kids have no boundaries. Sometimes I feel as if they only pick on me because I'm 18 and still not had my first kiss. Then again, if I were in their shoes then I'd hate me too.

The only constant figure I have in my life is my phone and my reliable music playlist of 'Motivational and uplifting songs'. These songs make me feel stronger, almost as if these bands that I listen to are telling me to keep my head up and face the world. One of them is the Black Veil Brides.

Somehow, the way Andy Biersack sings his songs makes me feel as if he's going through exactly the same thing I am. The passion and regret that chimes through his voice connects with me in a way none of the other bands could ever amount to.

This unafflicted obsession I have conquered with singer Andy Biersack is exactly the reason why I cried myself to sleep for nights after I had heard of his death. I still remember reading the news article. And I still feel the way it made me feel; my heart being slowly torn apart bit by bit.

"Softcore-Metal band lead singer Andy Biersack dies in tragic car accident" I remember the article saying.

It hurts to think about it.

It hurts to think about him.

His songs were the only things keeping me alive back then.

And now it's Riley.

If she gets taken away too, I don't think I could live much longer.

The world is cruel.

{edited 26/5/2015}