Pose for me (Frerard)

Chapter seven

It was only the next day before Mikey came around to catechize me about the night previous. He was still in a timorous state, his arcane secret still lost in his shrouded thoughts. His eyes were equivocal and over sized for his petite face. I wanted to know, to be let in on this big mystery.

"You stayed over at his didn't you? Please tell me you don't know, he told me not to tell anyone and now you know. He doesn't even know you for fucks sake!" His words were quiet but he practically wailed the last sentence. My presence was frittering from reality to hallucination in his sleep deprived eyes. I reached out and daintily placed my hand on his shoulder. This seemed to ground him and he came back to earth soon enough. A dry sob left his lips and he leaned against me. There we stood, in the middle of the corridor on the top floor of an apartment complex, two guys, one in sorrow and one in doubt. "I just want him to be okay." He whispered banging a fist softly against my chest. I was analytic, I wanted to know. I coiled my arms around Mikey and clutched him to my chest.

"What's wrong with him Mikey?" I whispered, my head on his shoulder. His fingers where clenched around the skin on my shoulders and his breathing was fleeting, coming out in soft pants. He lifted himself off of me and looked down at me. His eyes were pensive and forlorn as they searched mine.

Then footsteps were heard, striding towards us. I whipped my heard to the left to see a seething Gerard. His eyes were set on Mikey and once in range he grabbed the arm he had draped over my shoulder and flung it down. His eyes were slits and held a wild tinge in them. His eyelashes cast a long shadow across his cheekbones giving him a deathly glow. He was uncontrollable in this state I knew it and so did Mikey. He cocked his head to the right and kept his eyes trained on Mikey, not once did he so much as look at me.

"I knew you would do this, you always do." Gerard whispered, his voice hollow and raspy. His anger was still there but it was slowly diminishing and was being replaced by dysphoria. His eyes held sorrow but his stance held animosity. His grip loosened and then let go off Mikeys arm and for the first time since arriving Gerard looked at me. For the world to him appeared to be filling from the bottom up and with no means of escape he let it be, let it take him, let it consume him. I tentatively placed one of my hands on his bony shoulder blade. "Please don't take him away, not this one, not this time." He breathed while keeping his eyes locked with mine. I looked at the ground after a moment or two with a soft blush on my cheeks. I felt his hand caress my cheek slightly, ephemerally. I heard Mikey sigh slightly.

"Listen Gerard, we know what you get like. It would be best." I didn't like this, the way things were going that is. I looked up at Mikey and saw a sympathetic look in his eyes and his fists were balled up at his sides. I shook my head vigorously and locked eyes with him.

"I don't want him to leave me. Whatever is wrong with him I can handle it, we can handle it together." I stated. I wasn't going to let him go, he meant too much and the time spent together was little. I heard it before I felt it, the harsh whoosh of air followed by the sound of skin on skin. Then the pain came, a stinging, burning sensation on my cheek. Mikey had hit me. His eyes were ablaze with anger and he held no remorse. I stood there, my back against the corridor wall, in shock.

"You know nothing! Nothing about what I have had to live with, what I have had to go through! And yet here you are pretending everything is okay! Let me tell you Frank, it's not o-fucking-kay, trust me." And those were his final words before the door to his apartment was slammed shut followed by a harsh click of the lock. I took this opportunity to examine Gerard, to notice the little things like how his hands were shaking and how tense his shoulders and back were. I wanted him to be okay, to be the Gerard I wanted him to be but there were too many blemishes, too many flaws. No one could be so unmarred, so wonderfully angelic like I wanted him to be. His hand reached for mine delicately like I would break under the slightest of jolts. My eyes connected with his and I turned around to lead him to my apartment. He trailed behind me silently. The air around us was suffocating and stifling. It held a certain aura of awkwardness and I just focused on unlocking the door to my apartment. Once we were inside and I had relocked the door, Gerard made his way into the kitchen.