Pose for me (Frerard)

Chapter thirteen

It had been two weeks since I had last seen Gerard and two weeks since I had last spoken to him. I had spent this time focusing on my job and shoots and also on myself. The only thing was, I couldn't get him out of my head. However much I tried, he consumed my mind. Today was the day though. Today was the day I was going to sit down and talk to Gerard about it all, about everything. I wasn't going to get annoyed or indignant about it and I hope he wouldn't either.

It was my day off and I knew he would be home because it had been published by every leading magazine and newspaper that he was 'taking a break from his career', I knew this meant he was most likely at home sulking about god knows what. He had taken plenty of 'breaks' and 'holidays' in his short career life and I knew this one wouldn't be any different from the last.

It was currently nine in the morning and I was sat at the kitchen counter having breakfast, which consisted of cornflakes and orange juice. I had already gotten ready before hand, having gone for the punk yet cute look and I felt ready to take on anything. After tidying up, I brushed my teeth, grabbed my things and headed towards the car park. I hadn't spoken to Mikey in depth much over this time, only fleeting hellos when we passed each other in the hallways. I didn't ponder on this subject for much longer as I had made it to the car.

The ride to Gerards house seemed to last longer then it usually did, I was dreading this. Aflame as I once was, all that energy had dwindled down into nothing but ashes, considering turning the car around had passed through my mind a good deal of times. My fretting was soon stopped as I pulled up outside his house. Shakily, I clambered out of the car and made my way up the steps. My finger was aquiver as I reached out to push the door bell. He came to the door within minutes of my ringing. He was still in his pajamas and the bags under his eyes were black to the point where I wondered if he had put his pajamas on to mock himself. His hair was tousled and unkempt, his posture was slouched and his skin was almost transparent. He looked cadaverous to say the least. He examined me much like I had but to me it looked like he was checking if I was in the same state as him, or worse. "Are you not going to invite me in then?" I asked, staring at the ground. He contemplated the notion for a while before opening the door wide enough for me to squeeze in. He walked through the hall and into the lounge without so much as a word. I stood awkwardly in the doorway, thinking back to the night that lead us into this current disposition.

He finally gestured to the seat adjacent to him and I walked, stiffly, to it. I waited for him to make the first move but it never came. I cleared my throat and glanced over to the small stain of red on the carpet near to sofa he was sat on. "I, uh, I'm really sorry about your carpet" I croaked. He looked down at it for a fraction of a second before looking away and shrugging his shoulders slightly.

"Nothing a scrub can't fix." He said gruffly. I nodded and cleared my throat again.

"Look Gerard-"

"Don't call me that." He muttered.

"What?"

"I said, don't call me that. It's Gee..." He trailed off. His cheeks were blooming a deep shade of red and this was the point in which I knew that the Gerard I had grown accustomed to was back.

"Well Gee, I was going to say that I was really sorry about what happened the other week. It was all my fault, I should of been more careful." Stumbling over my words as I rushed them out, I shifted in my seat slightly to face him more. My eyes were cast down, I could feel his gaze burning holes into my skin.

"It's wasn't your fault Frankie, it was mine. I was in a bad way all day and I guess you knocking over your drink just made it burst out." He finished. I didn't believe him, not in the slightest but I let it drop. "I hope we can go back to the way things were before?" His voice was full of home and he was looking anywhere but at me.

"Yes of course. I wouldn't want it to be any other way." I smiled at him gingerly. Now I must admit, for me when arguments and fall outs are resolved between me and another person, I go back to square one. It's like when you just meet someone and you can't be weird or odd around them yet and you're just so boring, that is me. He laughed slightly and nodded. "How's your break been?" I ask with a slightly smirk on my face.

"Oi! I just needed a little bit of time to myself, I think I'm about ready to go back to work now though." He giggled at his own words. "Alright, I just couldn't be bothered." I laughed vociferously at this remark and just like that we were back to the way we were before.

The next month passed by quickly and Gerard had no more of his outbursts. He was back at work and had been for over three weeks and I had continued the steep path that was photography. Ray and I had spent more time together, inevitably becoming closer as friends. I could also say the same about Mikey. Gerard and I were friends as of this moment but I liked him an appreciable amount. I wanted to be with him, to have that kind of relationship where I could just look after him and hold him in my arms. I believe that his condition has become better and more manageable but I'm still on the look out for any signs to counterbalance this statement.

Today was the day I was finally going to meet his parents. Gerard had mentioned this to me a few times before but never particularly acted on the impulse. They were going to be in town for the weekend and there was no better time then now as Gerard had so rightly put it.

It was currently eleven in the morning and I had spent the night at Gerards house. I had arranged with Ray for me to take two days off this week, tempting him with the offer of me working all next week. I had brought a change of clothes and all the other items one could need. I had been informed by Mikey and Gee that his parents were of a higher cut then most and were very strict on the topic of manners. I had decided to dress for the occasion since we were going out for a meal to some French place where I could only dream of pronouncing its name. I opted for my new black skinny jeans and a white shirt along with a skinny black tie. I decided against wearing my eyeliner and actually did something to my hair with a bit of gel. I was so nervous. In this current state I wouldn't be able to get a single syllable out let alone a sentence. The restaurant was on the other side of town which was about an hours car ride away and our table was booked for one, meaning I had an hour to try and calm down slightly before we set off.

I walked into the kitchen to find Gee snacking on a bag of crisps. "You do know we'll be eating soon right?" I questioned with a smirk, raising one eyebrow. He shrugged his shoulders and carried on eating. I laughed and went to go get myself a glass of water. "Are you ready yet?" I asked, pouring in the water from the fridge.

"I will be in a matter of minutes." Came his reply. He soon scurried off to go finish getting ready.

Ten or so minutes mater, we were in the car. Gerard had selected a sky blue shirt and black skinny jeans. The car journey only seemed to last a matter of minutes yet in reality it was just under an hour. We arrived, parked the car and ambled inside. It appeared we had arrived before Gerard's parents. We sat down at the table and we sat and chatted for a small while before they arrived.