Pose for me (Frerard)

Chapter nine

I cringed slightly as our eyes connected and without realizing,  I took a small step back. I saw a small amount of hurt flash in Gerards hazel eyes before he opened the door wider to let me in. I slowly and carefully stepped into the hallway which I had been into before but this time under much graver circumstances. I sighed and lent against the wall. Gerard started to walk into the lounge and I followed. It was a large, spacious room. The walls were painted white with a feature wall behind the sofa of black. There was a large, flat screen TV on the wall opposite the sofa which was turned off. I perched onto the edge of the black sofa and pulled a white cushion into my lap. I felt Gerards presence sit a few inches away from me, he then cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well Frank, I'm sorry for this morning. I didn't mean to snap at you like that." I scoffed quietly at his last sentence. Snap at me? It felt more than that to me.  He either didn't hear my slight protest or simply ignored me. He cleared his throat once more. "I am really sorry Frankie." He whispered. I looked at him and I felt washed up, like the tide had caught me and was bring me out to sea. Out to Gerard. This wasn't his fault, I knew it wasn't. I was just so scared, scared of trusting him and then to have it blow up in my face. But I didn't want to be the one to let him down either, to ignore his apology and leave. That was an option but it wasn't one I was going to take.

"I forgive you Gee but I need to tell you that I know. I know about what's going on, Mikey told me." I said with confidence despite the fact that it was what I felt like I lacked at that moment. I saw something, almost unnoticeable flash in his eyes but it was gone before I could decipher what it was. He smiled shortly at me before glancing at his now shaking hands.

"I just didn't want you t-to know, I wanted you to think I was normal." And that was the first time I had ever heard Gerard Way stutter. I grabbed his hands and pulled them into my lap, stroking them softly.

"Gee" I sighed. "There isn't anything abnormal about you, you're just going through a tough time at the moment. We can get through this together.  Look, I know we haven't known each other for that long and all, and this may seem really cheesy and shit but I want you to know that you can call on me anytime you want." Gerard cracked a small smile at the end of my sentence and pulled on my hands which were locked tightly with his so I fell, practically on top of him. I felt him snake his arms around my waist and I put my head against his shoulder, copying his actions but around his neck. I heard him sigh lowly, his hand raking through my hair.

"I don't want to be this way Frankie, it's like someone holding a gun to your head but knowing you're the one that has to pull the trigger. This thing is bigger than me and it's bringing me down." I pushed myself up to look in his eyes, my hands on either said of his body to support myself.

"I'm sorry that you're so sad sometimes," I sighed, studying his eyes. His arms gripped my waist tighter. "I'm sorry for not being able to make you happier." His arms tightened just that little bit more, pulling me down onto him once again. I sighed, contently this time. This was going to be okay, although if things got worse with him I was going to have to do something about it. I pushed the negative thoughts from my mind and reattached my arms around Gerards neck. We sat like that for a while, just enjoying the warmth another persons body next to yours can give and breathing in each others scent. The beating of each other's hearts ringing loud in our ears. Gerards hand was stroking my hair ever so softly, while his other one was tracing a small pattern at the bottom of my spine, I shuddered lightly. I felt hollow and numb at the news I had received but being here, in his arms made me feel whole again.  The moment came to an abrupt end as I looked at the large, black and white clock hanging near the door. 9pm. I really had to go, I had the photo shoot early in the morning  and I also had to sort out my material for it and I also had to have dinner. I sighed and began pulling away from Gerards warm embrace. I heard him sigh and utter something incoherent before getting up with me and rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. "I need to get going Gee..." I sighed and lent against him from the standing position we were now in.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow won't I?" He asked, eyes as wide. I giggled at his eagerness and nodded.

"I'll text you later okay?" He nodded before leaning down and kissing my cheek carefully. I melted into the gesture and if he had pulled away a second later I would be on the ground.

"I'll walk you to the door." He added after straightening up again to his normal height. I lead the way with him following closely behind to the front door where he opened it for me. He leaned down again and kissed my forehead. I smiled up at him and he grinned back. "You're so amazing Frankie." He whispered. I could feel my cheeks warming.

"No, I'm really not." I muttered and began to turn around until I felt Gerard's cold hands seize the top of my arm and spin me back around.

"On the contrary Frank, you are so much more than you think you are." He said giving me a massive grin before letting go of my arm. I smiled back at him once again making the promise to text him later before making my descent down the front steps. Once at my car door I unlocked it and heaved myself inside. My cheeks were alight with blush and my heart was beating at a rapid speed. I lent my head against the steering wheel for a moment before regaining my composure and looking back at his house. I saw him at the lounge window, watching me with a small smile on his face. When he saw I was looking he waved at me and grinned. I smiled back softly and started up the car. All the way on the drive home I couldn't get Gerard out of my head.