Was sanity an OPTION? - crack deku MHA

Honey, where is my haiiir

Yes, it's a Eurovision song, and yes, you DO have to listen to it and like it if you want me to ever hold any respect for you. 

Jeremie Makiese is fr a god, and I am truly heartbroken this didn't even place highly at all

---------------------

"BOOM!"

The machine exploded flinging shrapnel and dirty washing everywhere, clouding the entire hospital wing with Smoke and dust.

And thus, Izuku ran as fast as he could. 

Not knowing where he would go, he skidded through the dirty blue hospital corridors, huffing as he inhaled pieces of fallen rubble. Admittedly, pulling a Joker and blowing up the hospital probably wasn't the best or smartest idea he'd had before, but it had worked. 

He only hoped no innocent civilians had been hurt.

-----

Outside its was quite a sunny day, surprisingly warm for mid autumn. There was a few wispy white clouds in the sky, and a couple of civilians running around, some in a panic because of the explosion, and others blissfully unaware and wondering ,  "What the hell are these lunatics doing running around so frantically?"

He swore under his breath that he hadn't packed spare shoes (or anti-lunatic clothes for that matter) but ran the whole Thirty minutes to a random creek near a scout hall. The pavements were smoldering hot under his bare feet and he was grateful to have found some damp grass to sit on as he calibrated the insanity of the last Twenty Four hours.

"Holy Shit" He croaked loudly, his throat suffering from inhaling some insane chemical fumes back at the hospital. 

It was only then that he really noticed the damage the explosion had done to him. One of his hands was concerningly bent in the opposite direction a hand was supposed to be bent in, and he had ugly red blisters crawling up his limbs.

He reached a hand up to his head, jolting in shock as he felt the chasm like crack that ran deeply across his skull pulsing out a consistent flow of thick red blood. His head... was cracked. 

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Izuku screamed in absolute horror, but not because of anything other than his absolutely skin crawling realisation that...

He Had No Hair?!?!

Holy

Fucking

Shit

His

Hair

Was

Now

Consisting

Of

Two

Little

Black 

Crisps

"Jeezus" He exhaled loudly, "I wonder how Tape necks hairline is looking now." he grimaced, with a slight trace of guilt.

There was suddenly a loud rustling from behind him...

----

Aizawa's POV

"BOOM!"

The machine exploded flinging shrapnel and dirty washing everywhere, clouding the entire hospital wing with Smoke and dust.

I felt my entire body be thrown back by the sheer force of the explosion, I hit something hard and sharp. 

Bam

Bam

Bam

My head pounds loudly as black starts to cloud my vision. I exhale wheezily as I see Izuku dash out of the now charred room, all two remaining hairs and all.

My eyes fall heavily and I feel a sense of released tension take over my body.

- Just Under Half an Hour Later -

I woke up to the overwhelming and frantic beeping of about twenty machines around me, as well as the even more overwhelming and frantic pawing of principal Nezu on my shoulder.

"Shota"

"SHOTA"

"SHOOO-"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT" I shouted, expecting my throat to hurt more than it actually did.

"Shota, wake the flip up." Nezu complained energetically, "You're taking so long!"

"I WAS JUST BLOWN UP" I complained less energetically, more angrily than the Mouse Man did.

"Yes, well, recovery girl has just exhausted herself to near death making sure your shoulder wasn't quite so detached, so hurry up. We have more important things to do!" He spoke quickly.

"Im sorry, what"

"We need to go Shota."

"My arm was DETACHED?"

"Key word: Was." Nezy rolled his eyes playfully, "Okay let's go now."

I groaned and lugged myself out of  the metal hospital bed, wincing as my newly unburnt skin wrinkled as my joints moved. I rolled my shoulder around a bit, surprised how smoothly it moved.

Honestly, it hurts less than it did before.

Damn arthritis. 

I blinked slowly as Nezu dragged me outside to the large white van outside with the UA logo printed in bold on the side. I looked back at the hospital, my eyes widening in shock as I saw a turret of smoke billowing from one side of it.

"Did Iz-" I tried to ask

"Mhm, that kid is an absolute nutcase" Nezu interrupted, "Which is why were going to go find him and recruit him to UA."

I blinked "What"

"He's clinically insane." Nezu shrugged, "I want him."

"Wait but-"

"Yes?"

I groaned loudly, once Nezu makes up his inexplicably complex mind there is no changing it.

"That's what I thought" Nezu cackled to himself.

The van thudded to a halt, and just as  quickly as it had stopped I was pushed out of the van. I stood up and looked around us, we were on some random street in front of a scout hall. I was about to say something, but Nezu grinned widely and I got a large sense of Deja Vu as 

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Pierced the air, causing me to jump in shock. Nezu just cackled and muttered, "Target located."

Nezu started towards the random clump of foliage that surrounded a creek that ran the whole way through the neighbourhood, he looked back at me  beckoning me to follow behind him. 

I peeked through the bush seeing a very particular boy crouched on the muddy ground breathing heavily, his blue hospital gown stained with blood, sweat and dirt.

"Jeezus" He exhaled loudly, "I wonder how Tape necks hairline is looking now." 

I gaped open my mouth, wanting to stay there and spy on him for a bit longer. But of course Nezu ran forwards into the clearing. Izuku looked over at Nexu in slight shock and then raised his eyebrows skeptically.

"Hello?" He asked Nezu, before looking up and spotting my head peeking through the bushes. His eyes widened a lot more and he opened it mouth to speak.

"Hobo? What the fuck are you doing here with this rat man?"

----------

Phew, that was an interesting chapter. The truth is I was planning to ditch this book, but I was feeling kinda bored, and my room's LED lights were all charismatic so I thought

"Fuck it, let's write something."

So here you are, there may be another chapter in an hour or so, depending on whether I can be fucked or not.