Was sanity an OPTION? - crack deku MHA

KABOM

Author POV

"Is there much left to live for?" Izuku asks himself as he sits in the hospital bed enjoying the few minutes of peace without the eraser hero basically interrogating him. To no surprise on Izuku's behalf whatsoever, Eraserhead and a team of child protection agents had been having a rather difficult time locating any sort of parent or parental figure to talk to about the problem child's well, problems.

His life had never been easy, but he had always been free. With no parent to tell him when to sleep, or when it was too late to visit the beach, Izuku had lived to his own will. But now it seemed that with every passing day more guards were placed outside his door and his window of time for fresh air was growing smaller.

And with less time comes less patience and with less patience comes more injured nurses and police officers. It wasn't Izuku's fault...

This is what would have been said had it been the opposite day, but alas, the plain old truth is that Izuku is totally out of control, and has, since the first incident become a registered danger to the hospital community.

Izuku stretched his arms and legs out with a relieved groan. Although feeling perfectly healthy physically he had been imprisoned in the small room that was his hospital accommodation. It smelt of lemon-scented toilet bleach and was bathed in the blue-ish headache-inducing lights hospitals never failed to get installed (to the dread of their patients.) 

His time with the police seemed to stretch for weeks whilst being a mere couple of days and his time when he was allowed into the hospital gardens seemed a few minutes in spite of the fact that it was a few hours.

He found himself exceptionally jaded.

...

He had spent a total of one week, three days, seven hours, nineteen minutes, and fifty-three seconds in the hospital and had had enough.

And what do you do when you are locked in a hospital whilst a tremendously corrupt police force searches for your missing parents?

You hatch an escape plan, that's what!

...

Step No.1 of breaking free: Collect Supplies

...

Izuku walked into his pathetic excuse for a 'bathroom' It was about 1.5m squared (or 4 foot 9) and contained a light, a showerhead, a drain on the floor, and a cold, tiled sink with a few draws. The hospital had provided a little bottle of glycerin soap, chemical-smelling shampoo, some aerosol deodorant, a plastic shower cap, and a comb. He grabbed them all. After tucking his baggy hospital shirt in (creating a pocket down it) he stuffed the supplies in.

He had taken it up to himself to create a schedule in his head of the guard's movements, when the food came, what nurse was monitoring him next, and most importantly, how long was it until he was allowed into the gardens for a breath of air next? 

And with a bit of prodigious genius and a lot of timely luck he realized that his next visit would be in approximately, Three hours, Eleven minutes, and Eighteen seconds. And food would come in around Two hours, Forty-Three minutes, and Twenty Six seconds.

He lounged around, pretending to read Nineteen Eighty-Four, a rancid and inaccurate book about a future where the government surveils its citizens. (I love this book don't come  @ me)

Finally, the food arrived, it was a spicy fish stew with sticky rice and a yellow jelly cup. Instead of eating it normally (and hating it, no doubt), he pulled out the bottle of shampoo and mixed it with the stew. It took the idiotic broccoli boi a few mouthfuls of the soapy and fishy mixture to realize it may have been better to drink the shampoo straight, to at least (kind of) enjoy his last hospital meal.