My Ex Mafia

Chapter 48

My Ex Mafia
Chapter 48

Nicole

He just admitted that he'd leave the mafia for me. The life he's always known, the one that makes Sylvester Gravano the scariest person in New York.
I should be happy shouldn't I? If he left the Mafia then I'd be able to give him a second chance, we could try again and this time there'd be no more secrets, no more lies, no more dead bodies and no more fear of someone killing either of us.

We'd be free to do whatever, with no more bodyguards on patrol everywhere we go and we'd be able to have a stable and normal future.

The only problem was that, this was the life that I wanted. The one that I Invisioned myself having, the one that I grew up believing in.
But it was different with Sylvester. He grew up in the mafia, invisioned himself as the most powerful and feared man in New York.
This was him life and I would never ask him to drop everything that he's known just to make me happy. I could never ask someone to change their entire life for me, especially if our lives are so different.

I paced around the bedroom mumbling to myself while Sylvester stayed in bed confused. I couldn't help but think about all negative things that could come from this.

What if after all of the mafia business our relationship crumbles and he regrets leaving?

What if he gets bored of the normal life or worse, gets bored of me? What then.

I coups never forgive myself if things went south and he'd be left with a foreign lifestyle.

"You can't leave the mafia Sully!" I yelled clearly annoyed.  "Yes I can." He said in a calm tone which annoyed me more. "No you can't, not for me atleast " he got out of bed and walked up to me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and I stopped moving.

"Why not?" He asked with his hands still on my shoulders as mine were folders around my chest. "I don't want to talk about it" i mumbled under my breathe softly but enough for him to hear. "Nicole tell me" his voice was firm and strong.

"I don't want to talk about it Sully" I said as I took a step back , which made his hands fall off my shoulders.

"Nicole"

"No"

"Nicole"

"No"

"For Fuck sakes Nicole Hues!"

"WHAT IF YOU DONT LIKE IT!" I yelled out. He took a step closer to me but each time he did I took a step away from him , maintaining the distance. "What if you don't like the change, what if you regret it after some time, what if we can't fix whatever it is that we have and you have to live a totally foreign lifestyle alone." "Nicole..." He attempted to interrupt me but I wasn't done.

"No. What if we do manage to fix us and we start this new chapter in a suburban one storey townhouse house, with a big yard and we settle down with 2 kids and live a normal life but then after some time you realise it isn't what you wanted and you get bored , now you have 2 kids, downsizing from the luxury mansions you're used to, to a one storey suburban townhouse where you're miserable. What then huh?!" I looked into his eyes deeply trying to hold in my tears that were forming.

I assumed that he'd tell me that I was right and that leaving the mafia wouldn't be ideal for him, but he just gave me a little smile as he cupped my face with both hands. "We're only having 2 kids I assumed we'd have more?" He joked which made me walk away from him."unbelievable" I grunted as I made my way onto the balcony " Okay sorry sorry come here" he chuckled as he stood behind me.

He turned me around to face him and cupped my face once more. "You know you're crazy right?" He chuckled which made me roll my eyes at him. "You don't need to worry about such things Nicole. I won't regret my decision and if I do it'll be on me not you. You are mine Nicole and I am yours. Since the moment I saw you I knew that you'd be the person I'd spend the rest of my life with, the person I'd do anything for, and that hasn't changed nor will it ever. Whether we fight or you run away, we'll always find a way back to each other so I'm not worried about our relationship, neither should you. If you want to live in a suburban townhouse with 2 kids then so be it. It won't be downsizing because I'll get to spend the rest of my life with you in it. I won't get bored and I definitely won't be miserable because I'll have you always. All I want is you, whether it's in a mansion or a towny house, as long as we're together nothing will make me regret anything. You're my light Nicole and I know that where ever my light goes, I go. You deserve your dream lifestyle and I'd like to be apart of it, for good. Where you don't have to hide in safe houses, or be afraid to go to work and that's what I will give you once this is all over. It'll just be you and I, like before but better and safer."

He caressed my cheeks with his thumbs as he spoke and all I could think about was what it would be like if we were able to be together for good this time.
What he said gave me hope, it made me feel like there'd be nothing standing in the way of what we could've had and what we could have now, which made me wonder if maybe we were meant to be.

I've never lost feelings for Sylvester, I just convinced myself that I didn't so that I wouldn't miss him while I was gone. If you had asked me a few months ago whether I'd be able to be around Sylvester, I would have said no, because I didn't feel safe around him.
I had no trust or faith in him, but now things are different. Now after being forced to stay with him I've learnt to trust him again and if I'm being honest, he's the only person that makes me feel completely safe.

I held onto the side of his hands as they were still cupping my face. Our eyes were connected under the shine of the stars. The view was beautiful. There were no clouds in sight, just the bright shine of the moon and stars.
Sylvesters blue eyes glowed in the moonlight, I almost forgot how beautiful his deep blue eyes were. It's been a while since I've just taken in the view of his manly beauty, but right now I felt like I was finally seeing him. Not as the ruthless Mafia man, but as the caring and deep person that he tried to hide away from the world, but I got to see it.

A yawn escaped my lips which made him chuckle. "Come on. Let's get you to bed" he said as he placed my arms around his neck and picked me up which made me wrap my legs around his waist.
I snuggled my head into his neck as I slowly felt myself drift off to sleep in his arms.

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