The Scarred Collide

Chapter 10 ~ Let Me Save You

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Warning | Miscarriage, Drug Abuse and Overdoses, R*pe, sexual assault, Abuse, Domestic Violence and Mental illness.

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Chapter 10 ~ Let Me Save You

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6 months later

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5 months ago, I lost my baby and I didn't even know I was pregnant till I lost it. I lost it due to all the drugs I took after that night and stress.

I cried, I found out I was having a child but it died because of me. Because of my emotions and actions, non stop I couldn't stop killing people or doing drugs till I overdosed.

I was lost.

Lost in my mind.

I sometimes wonder if I would've been a great mom or if the baby looked like me. Sometimes I wonder if I will repeat the same thing my dad did to me when I was a kid, I was sometimes glad that it was miscarried because I'm afraid of becoming like him.

Ever heard that one phrase people say?

"The abused becomes the abuser."

I hated that phrase, I hate how true it was or could be.

I ended up going to rehab, to try to 'heal'. It was comforting in rehab, I felt like I wasn't lost in my thoughts all the time and going crazy.

I tried focusing on myself.

Trying to be a better women.

Trying to be happy.

I remember doing heroin and cocaine, along with Xanax nonstop. I couldn't stop, I felt as if I didn't do heroin or that other shit, I would go crazy like my father.

I didn't want that.

After the day I did drugs, I would have this regret knotted around my stomach and mind but I kept doing it until I overdosed one day.

A women found me unconscious at a alley, she was a young prostitute and used to be like me she said. She found me laying down on my back with vomit on my face and having a cardiac arrest.

She had a flashback of her, in this exact same spot as I was. She ended up calling ambulance, she even got on the ambulance with me. She held my hand till we got there and waited in the waiting room, praying for me.

No one has ever done that.

Eventually I woke up, the doctors told me what happened and the women had left once she found out I was in conscious.

I told the doctors to show me the footage of her, they did. She had light brown hair, light blue eyes and small lips. She looked around sixteen years old, she looked like someone familiar then it hit me.

She looked like the daughter of Philip.

I was confused, I made sure I left a fortune of money each year so they wouldn't end up on the streets. I was angry, angry because I know the mother is capable of not giving money to the girl.