Mixed Imagine book (COMPLETE)

upset/heartbroken

I didnt think that my own baby could break my heart. but she has and I know I can't blame her cause she's not old enough to understand that her actions are making mommy upset. 

but how much Leia is ignoring me for Sebastian hurts. 

I've not said anything to Sebastian about it cause I feel as though me bringing it up will be stupid. cause our baby girl is just a year old. 

Just today I was wanting to have a mommy and daughter day since Sebby was busy doing at-home interviews.

 Leia wasn't having it. she was giving me the biggest tantrum I've ever seen. 

I tried to get her to calm down and breathe so she'd not work herself up but she wasn't having it.

But the very minute Sebastian walks in she reaches for him. once he picks her up the tantrum stops, the tears stop, the whole fit ends and she's like the sweetest baby ever.

"what is going on?" he asked

"I honestly cant tell you" I replied

"What happened?" he asked

I say nothing just sighed and walked passed him.

"Hunny. come back" he says

"I can't, " I tell him

I went into my home office and sat on the couch, covered my face, and cried.

 I've not left my office in over an hour.

the tears have dried up and all. but the hurt and everything is still there.

"wanna talk about what's been going on?" he asked

"it's stupid," I tell him

"if it has you upset and crying. it's not stupid" he says as he walked over and sat beside me.

"Leia doesn't want anything to do with me. she will throw the most ridiculous tantrum. like she did when you was doing your interviews. I've tried to get her to calm down so she's not overworking herself or cough. but she was getting louder." I explained

"your hurt cause she doesn't want anything to do with you and she wants everything to do with me?" he asked

"see it sounds stupid and ridiculous" I say

"no I'd be the same way if I was in your place and she was doing this to me" he says

"she's my world. just like you are. I'd do anything for you both. but having her do me the way she is despite the fact she's not understanding what's going on. kills me and I don't know what to do. our baby girl wants nothing to do with me unless you are next to me. if you're off to film or in a different room, she's crying, having a fit, throwing tantrums. I try to get her to calm down or rest and she amps it up. I feel like a complete failure and it hurts" I tell him

"you're not a complete failure. You're her mother and you're trying," he says

"it's not good enough Sebastian" I tell him

"not right now it's not but there will be times when she hates me and loves you," he says

"if this is supposed to help me feel better it's not. I feel like fucking shit and you're not helping matters none." I tell him

"I'm sorry," he says

I sighed and covered my face while shaking my head.

"I'll just suffer through it and just wait for however long it will be till she doesn't do to me the ways she does when you're not around her," I say before I stand up and go wash my face.