He's Fire and She's Playing with It - Mafia Version

Chapter 31: Redemption

TW: IMPLICATIONS OF RAPE.

For once, Benjamin knocked on Ally's door, but there was no answer. Normally he would assume that she wasn't home and leave it at that, but he had a gnawing feeling that something was wrong. He knew he was really crossing a line and would out himself when he pulled out his key and unlocked the door.

"Hello?" he asked when he stepped into the flat.

He could see the bed from the non-existing hallway. There was a bundle of blankets on it.

"Ally?"

The bundle of blankets moved.

"I don't feel like talking." Her voice was small.

He felt all the colour drain from his face as he crossed the room and saw her face. She was pale with blueish circles under her eyes. The cheekbones were more visible than he remembered them. He felt sick. She looked hollow. Broken and hollow. The pain of the memories was eating her up.

"Not a comment on where I got the key? A scolding? A reprimand?"

When she didn't answer he took a deep breath. He had to say something. Do something. He knew she'd been ignoring Adryan for a week. Him too, but avoiding Adryan was bad. She could avoid him all she wanted. He would just assume that she was annoyed with him. When he looked at her, he wished she was. Being annoyed was a feeling, and right now he knew wasn't she feeling anything at all.

She should be angry with both of them, how they had forced her to into one of the bedrooms in Adryan's house, to be examined. She had been in a manic frenzy, not wanting to be touched. All she had wanted was to go home and she had been pleading to do so, repeating her request every time they tried to talk to her. When they finally had let her, she had refused any safety precautions. She wanted to be alone, didn't want anyone to be near. They had both tried to talk her into letting Adryan go with her, or at least to have someone stationed at the door. She had refused. He would've thought that the trauma from the last few days would've made her scared of being alone. He knew Adryan mirrored his thoughts. But no. All their offers had been in vain. Adryan could force his protection upon her. He wouldn't have to obey, but in the end he did.

Though, Benjamin knew about the cameras around her house, by every window and at the door, not looking in but scanning the surroundings for any kind of threat.

"Ally." Benjamin sank down next to her on the bed.

She pulled the cover tighter around her. His hand slowly caressed her back. She didn't flinch. His movement was warm, comforting. The circles he drew on her shoulder blade were harmless.

"It wasn't his fault."

"I know." She sank deeper into the hole. The darkness now so thick that no light could break through. "It was mine."

Benjamin's hand stopped. She could hear him inhaling to speak, but she didn't let him.

"You warned me. You told me that it was dangerous and I ignored you."

She bit her bottom lip and then slowly released it. She felt that it was right to cry, that she should be sad. But no sadness came to fill the emptiness. No feeling at all. It was just her and the bottomless darkness. No one could come in. The hole was safe. Indestructible.

Benjamin wanted to pull the comforter aside and pick Ally up in his arms. He wanted to shake her, tell her that she couldn't be more wrong. He would repeat it until his voice was hoarse. Until she listened.