Maybe I am

That kid

"LARRY" Steve yelled, throwing the door of the house open, holding a grocery bag. "What? What is it?" Larry said, getting up and looking at his boyfriend. Then he noticed there was a kid in front of him. The kid looked... Blocky. They had static all over and they looked glitchy. They had one eye, and the pupil was changing every few seconds. "I'm adopting this child" Steve said, smiling. "Wait... What?" Larry said, trying to process what Steve had just said. "Hi, I'm Rob" the kid said, waving at Larry. "Steve, did you just find a random kid off the street and decide to take him home?" "He found me in the grocery store actually" "He complimented my hair, I had to talk to him. he doesn't have any family, he's technically classified as one of the world's mistakes. I'm adopting him" "Steve, you just kidnapped someone" Larry just looked at his boyfriend, and then Rob. The kid had a pony tail, like Steve. It was just... Blockier. "I don't really have a guardian, and I accepted the offer to get into a strange man's van, so I honestly kidnapped myself" Rob said, looking at Larry. "Come on Larry, we make enough money now to have a kid" Steve said, taking Larry's hands. "This is just- just- Steve you can't just randomly decide you want a kid" Larry said, squeezing Steve's hands. "He told me he wanted a son his whole life" Rob said, watching from the doorway. "Come on, Larry. You're not even technically obligated to raise him with me. We're not married" Steve said, trying to relax Larry. "I- fine. Kid, your rooms upstairs" Larry said, pointing at the stairs. "Okay" Rob said. He just stood there. "Rob, why don't we get you set up?" Steve eventually said, breaking the silence. "Okay" Rob said, walking towards Steve, and following him up the stairs. His new room wasn't empty, Steve had decorated every single room in the house. "This'll need redecorating" Rob said, looking at all the tapestries and plants on the ceiling and walls. "There's a mattress in the basement, I'll get it for you. We'll get you a bed tomorrow!" Steve said, walking downstairs. He opened the door to the basement, and started looking for the mattress. Once he found it, he tried to drag it up the stairs, but it was heavier than he expected. "Hey, Larry?" Steve yelled from the basement. "Yeah babe? What is it?" Larry yelled back. "Can you help me take this into Rob's room?" "Yeah, sure. I gotta take a fatherly role somewhere" "fatherly? You wanna raise him with me?" "Steve, of course I do. I'm not a monster. I'm dating you. I'm practically a dad to him. Besides, I know you'd kill me if I made your kid feel any negative emotion" "that last part is very true, Sunshine" Steve smiled at Larry while pulling the mattress into their kids new room. "That's a bigger mattress than I expected" Rob said, looking at the mattress. "Where do you want it?" Steve asked, smiling. "In the corner, over there" Rob said, pointing at a corner in the room where the ceiling was dipped down. "You got it!" Steve said, pushing the mattress over. "Are you also my dad now?" Rob asked, poking Larry and staring up at him. "Yeah, I guess so" "I got the hippie and the basic guy as my parents? I can't tell if I won or lost the parent lottery" Rob said, smiling. "You won" Steve said, looking over. "You may have lost" Larry whispered to Rob and smiled at him. "Hey, don't go against me! You'll set a bad example for our child" Steve said, faking an angry face and putting his hands on his hips. "After hearing you talk for an hour about healing crystals, I think you're already a bad example" "oh, it only gets worse from there, kid. I've heard him rant for hours about how his van is a real being and has feelings" "Janice is very sensitive, don't say that about her" "yeah yeah, my new parents are half sensible and half a conspiracy theorist, very easy to understand, guys"