Strings Of Love

Chapter 18

When Sidharth's heart broke, his world collapsed when his business as well as his personal life were going through huge losses. He felt like life had absolutely no meaning, feeling pain he has never been through ever in his life. He had no confidence and no will to go on anymore. But slowly with time, he had realized and accepted the fact that nobody could change the situation now. It had happened, his worst nightmare, Ishita had left him. He would smile outwardly but feel as though something is ripping him apart every time he'd be home without her, his life will never be the same. It was the darkness he saw or experienced, he hated everyone around him, he hated himself even more. He was simply surviving from one day to the other, thinking this would be the rest of his life. After spending months and months in this gloom, he needed to breathe and get his business back. So began to work, work hard and fought his own demons. He fought with all his might, even failed a couple of times and didn't lose hope. That way, he surely secured his business but couldn't get Ishita back.

Wasn't I capable enough to take care of her ? Didn't I love her enough? How could she move on so fast with a guy just like me? Usme aisa kya hai jo mujhme nahi? The thoughts had hovered a lot of times over his head, thus leading to an inferiority complex that included anger and sorrow. Such emotions are really tough to deal with and probably need a lot of time. Well, he did start working on himself and spent time alone to introspect and become stronger.

Things were getting back on track until he met Shehnaaz, as beautiful and lively she was, she didn't know she had the potential to bring the old Sidharth back. She could make him laugh and forget the never ending stress for a while. He never knew he could talk so pointlessly with someone until she entered his life and having her around was fun. But now, now that Shehnaaz had developed feelings for him, things began to fall apart once again. He liked her as a friend, he liked her alot to be by her side if she was in trouble but a little did she know that there was no angle that could cast them as a couple. There was no scope of him getting into a relationship ever again, be it her or anybody after things have been after Ishita left him. He didn't want to make that mistake again by not allowing himself to be attracted to anyone anymore because there was a part of his mind that kept telling him that letting himself to do so would lead to the same kind of pain.

Another reason why he was not attracted to anyone anymore could be that he didn't feel particularly attractive himself. He had made sure, he never crossed a line to lead anyone. He couldn't really conceive of being attracted to anyone anymore because he couldn't allow himself to be hurt again. Hence, his mind made a defense mechanism to avoid the pain. Being that he couldn't really trust himself to not make the same mistake again, he simply decided that you will not let anyone in. After all, he let the last person in and she hurt him tremendously. And it was completely normal. It was a good thing that he wasn't rushing into things that people normally do and they end up in a rebound relationship. Especially with Shehnaaz, he couldn't even think of hurting her and would rather let anyone hurt her. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way.

Well, according to Preeti and his other family members, once the sting wears off he would find himself not thinking so much about the past and despite any emotional hang up, he might have gone forward and find that one day he would dream about an entirely new person. Waking up with a feeling of cautious optimism instead of a dull longing. The sun will shine a bit brighter, and smiles will be genuine. He'd feel the butterflies in his stomach and that would be a really good feeling. It might happen tomorrow, it might happen in a few months. They had tried their best to cheer him up and out of this stilled period but moving wasn't just a phase that he could go through, it was a fight with himself and Sidharth wasn't sure if he'd be able to win.

Apart from his past, Shehnaaz had lately complicated his life even more and there was nothing he believed that he could do to make her feel better. He kept staring at his phone, while it kept ringing with her name on its screen. It had been two days since their kiss and he had been avoiding talking to her, be it through texts or calls.