The boy I wanna kiss- Rinney

secretly In love

📚⋆ : ̗̀➛

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TYSM for 200 reads<33

Giving y'all some gay shit because I got some sad shit planned ..

Enjoy!!

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*Finney's POV*

Math.
One of my favourite classes.
But I can't focus. I can only think about Robin.
There was something with him that made me feel safe, warm and just happy. I don't know why I feel this way for him.
I shouldn't feel this way for him. But I do.

I didn't realise I had these feelings at first but when we were in the bathroom talking this morning I realised,

I'm in love with my best friend.

I looked over at Robin that were sitting next to me. He was doodling in his notebook as usual but I didn't mind, I would just give him the answers afterwards.
I looked down at his doodles and felt my cheeks turn red when I saw what he was doodling.

'Finney' in a cursive style.

But that didn't mean anything, right? Robin is probably just training his handwriting and I just happened to be the first thing he could think of.
It's not like I'm always on his mind the way he always is in mine. No never.
Not robin.

I looked away and tried to focus on my own work.
I grabbed a smaller curl from my hair, twirled it around my finger and tugged it slightly to have something to fidget with, to help me stop thinking about Robin.

-

*Robin's POV*

I smiled to myself as I doodled his name in my notebook. God I loved that name. It felt like liquid gold in my mouth whenever I mentioned it, whenever I mentioned him.
It fitted him so perfectly.

Finney.

I hate myself for liking him more than a friend, he would never feel the same way back.
I couldn't stop imagining his hand in mine or his lips on mine.
These thoughts are wrong.
So so wrong.

-

Hallways.
After math.
Worst place in this school.
Full off morons and idiots walking around thinking that they are on top of this world, that they are the best.
God I hate this school, but there's one thing that makes it better.
Finney.
Finney is the only reason I go to school everyday, he brings me joy. Lots and lots of joy.
That's why I like him so much.

I have such feelings for him, feelings he would never respond.
At this point I don't know what to do.
Do I tell him? No I could never.
I'll just have to suffer in silence.

———

•it's a few hours later, it's dark, the moon is big and bright as the stars, they both agreed to hang out after school at their usual "moon hill"•

This is our favourite spot to hang out at. Finney loves looking at the stars and ranting about how one day, one day he would fire away on a rocket and land on the moon. I find his ranting adorable, I could listen to it for hours.

I looked over at Finney, His eyes were plastered at the moon but that wasn't unexpected.
The light from the moon shone up Finney's big brown eyes.
He looked absolutely beautiful tonight, just like every other night. But I will never be able to tell him that.

I will go to hell for having such feelings for Finney.

"Finn."____"yeah?" Finney said with a slight smile.
"Do you think you will go to heaven?"
Of course he will. What stupid question is that?

"..Dogs go to heaven, so why wouldn't I be able to?" He said with a bigger smile.
I smiled back.
"You're right, I guess we'll found out when we die" I shivered at the thought of Finney being dead. The one special person for me, dead.
Pure nightmare.

Finney looked away.
"It might be soon". Finney put his knees up to his chest.
"What do you mean?" I said feeling a little worried.
"I mean, isn't it scary? Like, death is sometimes so unexpected but still so predictable." Finney sighed.
"..sorry, Death just terrifies me a lot."____"don't be sorry" I said calmly "you can talk to me about it Finn" I smiled a comforting smile even tho Finney had his eyes looking somewhere else.
"Thanks robin" he said with a weak smile, resting his chin between his knees.
I smiled at the response but I still felt like something was wrong.
I should've just not asked about the death thing.
God I'm an idiot.
I probably made him upset, he probably hates me.

I got pushed out of my thoughts when I felt weight hit my shoulder .
I looked down and saw a half asleep Finney cuddling my side.

I must be dreaming.

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808 words!!

IM CRYING THIS CHAPTER IS SO BAD💀
I'm gonna give my heart and soul on the next chapter so don't loose hope in me🙏

Anyways I'm having a really shitty weekend so blame my parents for this shitty chapter🫶😁