The boy I wanna kiss- Rinney

pain is temporary

                                     🩻⋆ : ̗̀➛

!

this is just a filler

A/N: Sorry for this short chapter (729 words)
This chapter will include mention of self harm.
Im really not happy with this chapter so I'll try to recover it with the upcoming ones.
Im sorry.

-

*Robin's POV*

Finney somehow looked so peaceful when he was asleep, even with all the bruises and healing gashes and scratches that's covering his face.
He was still my beautiful Finney.

I threw a glance over at Gwen who had fallen asleep on her chair four hours ago. I let her sleep, she needed it.
None of use had gotten any good sleep for the past month with Finney being missing. That aching pain in your stomach of guilt and sorrow, followed by that little voice in the back of your head that keeps telling you "it's all your fault" had kept us both awake for too long.

I stroke a hand over Finney's hair in a calming way, even though he's not awake. I think it calmed me more than it calms him.
Sometimes my brain fails me and tells me that Finney isn't real. No one with a personality like Finney's, could ever possibly survive in this shitty world.
And no one like him could ever even consider being friends with someone like me.
Sometimes I grabbed Finney's hand just to make sure he's real. Because sometimes, it really feels like he's just too good to be a real person.

I shook the thoughts out of my head as i saw Finney's eyes, slowly, flutter open.
I gave him a minute to look around before his eyes landed on me.
"Robin," he said with a weak voice. "Where am I?" I smiled slightly, feeling revealed that he woke up.
"You're at the hospital guapo" I said, automatically adding Spanish.

"..."

"Do you need a minute?" I asked after Finney went quiet.

"No I'm just.. thinking"

"Okay. Just don't worry, nothing can hurt you here." I smiled and Finney smiled back, weakly.
Finney leaned back in his bed and sighed.
I took his hand in mine carefully.
Finney sighed again and looked at me.
"Fuck it hurts everywhere." Finney said but he didn't show it, at all. His eyes were half shut but they shone in exhaustion.

"Pain is temporary" I smiled.

"I guess." Finney tried to raise his hand to get the hair out of his face but immediately winced in pain and let it fall back down.
"God what'd they do to me?"

"Well they sewed some shit together and had to remove some skin and things, a little here and there." I tucked the hair he tried to get out of his face behind his ear.
"I didn't get a lot of information but I do know that you are not laying on a bed of roses right now." Finney chuckled slightly and cursed under his breath for even moving.

"Hey Robin?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for being here and, uh.. catching me when I ran into your arms."

"That sounds really fucking corny"

"I know but it is what happened"

I chuckled slightly.
"I know." I gave him a smile. "But don't thank me, I want to be here."
Finney returned my smile.
"Still, thank you."

-

Hours had passed and me and Finney had just been small talking the whole time.
The later hours of the day arrived slowly and so did the deep conversations.

"Robin."

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember Elle's party?"

I felt my heart drop. I've been praying and hoping that Finney would've forgotten the party by now but no, he remembered.
I've been constantly blaming myself

"...yeah, I remember."

"Why did you tell Rhett?"

Had Finney been sitting in that basement, for a month, believing that I would ever tell anyone about his self harm? I would never hurt him, emotional nor physical.

"No. I didn't tell him."

"Then how did he find out?"

"I-I don't know." I sighed "I really don't know."
But then I realised.
"Well-"

"What?" Finney asked.

"You know how I ramble when I get to much thoughts in my head?"

"..yeah?"

"It might've slipped out when Rhett was close enough to hear or something."
Finney sighed.

"You know that I would never, ever tell a single soul about it. Never."
Finney nodded slowly in slight agreement.
"Well shit."

A minute passed.

"Did you.. did you mean what you said? Before I- ..before I left?"

Shit.

"..yeah. Yeah I did."

"..do you still feel that way..?"
Shit shit shit shit shit shit.
I took a deep breath and sighed.

"I do. I really do."
Finney slowly smiled and his cheeks turned red.

"I feel the same Robin."

"What?"

"I feel the same."

Oh my god.