YOU DESERVE THE WORLD: Completed

Chapter 18: Trying

Ivy POV

Its been a week since Thea and my father died, most of it I have been laying in bed. Atlas helped me bathe, eat, and drink while I sat in bed mourning the recent lost. He has also been giving me comfort and laying with me, the whole week he slept in my bed holding me.

Lola came over yesterday, she comforted me but then told me that I had to get up. I didn't want to I felt tired, sad, angry, and hurt and I just didn't want to get out of bed. But she is forcing me. She pulled me out of bed and out of my room she locked the door meaning I couldn't get in. I was pretty pissed at her and even yelled at her but the boys promised they would unlock it as long as I stop moping all day and try to do something that's not laying around. 

After awhile of fighting them and telling them I just want to lay around they still didn't cave. So now I am sitting on the couch with my knees to my chest staring into space and listening to Lola talk.

I am not even listening to the words she speaks but the sound of her voice. I had a migraine forming while sitting up. I am pretty sure the sudden change of me laying around in bed for a week crying to me sitting on the couch where it is bright as hell is effecting me.

I got up and all eyes were on me, "getting medicine for headache." I say crossing my arms and walking out.

I know they are just worried and caring for me and I appreciate that but I hate the feeling and knowing that they are walking around shells around me. They act like I am just gonna slit my wrists again just like that, and I don't know that either but I wish they would pretend they aren't worried about that.

I walk into the kitchen and went towards the medicine cabinet. I accidently pour around 6 pills of advil. I stare at the large portion of pills laying on my head, knowing that if I swallowed all that the pain will get rid of the pain. I am tempted but I don't want to do that to Olly. 

I pour the pills back in the bottle and repour out two. I turn around to go to the fridge to see Atlas staring at me. I roll my eyes as I turn away from him and grab a bottle.

"What were you thinking of Ivy?" He asks in a strict tone.

"Nothing." I answer back quietly. 

I uncap the water and took the pills, I sipped the water slowly and stared at Atlas.

"Ivy, I know this is selfish of me to ask, but please stay for me, for Olly." He begs, concern filled in his face.

I nod with a tight lipped smile in response, "Okay." 

He walked up to me and pulled the water out of my hand. He placed it on the counter and slowly pulled me into his chest while wrapping his hands around me.

We hug for a couple of minutes before I pull back and ask, " Do we have alcohol?" 

He pulled away a bit with a straight face, "yeah." He said softly almost like he was hurt by my question. 

He walked to a cabinet and opened it letting me see the options. I walk up to him and notice the vodka bottle, "can you grab the vodka?" I ask.

He looked at me with worry and hesitance but caved as he pulled down the bottle. I grabbed a glass from another cabinet and filled it with some ice. I poured the liquor in the cup and gave it back to Atlas for him to put it back. 

"Thank you Atlas." I say then kissed his cheek before I left the kitchen with the cup in my hand. I sat back on the couch and Atlas later came in as well sitting far away from me looking deep in thought.

I sip the vodka, the drink burning my throat the first couple times but soon getting numb. 

-

An hour or two later and I have downed about three cups of vodka. I was acting drunk but not the funny type of drunk. The pain feeling was gone but everything was dizzy and nauseating but I can't help crave for more.