Lennon Carter is a single mom of a 3-year-old son, Beckett.
Harry Styles is a single dad of a 2-year-old son, Arlo, and a 4-year-old daughter, Aden.
They both decide to take their kids on a family vacation to Hawaii.
When they cross paths Lennon can...
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It's been almost a year since our Hawaiian vacation.
Almost a year since I last heard from Harry.
Almost a year since I told him we couldn't continue what was going on between us in Hawaii.
The heartbreak I felt after we got home was greater than anything I'd ever felt before. Even more than when Luke and I divorced.
The love I felt for Harry in such a short time amplified all of my emotions, causing me to feel everything deeply and very quickly.
I've worn that hibiscus necklace every day since I put it on. It reminds me of the person I was on that trip. The better version of myself I somehow found.
I realized over that trip how much I was missing out on. How much I let Beckett miss out on.
I had a boyfriend, Connor, for about six months after we got home. Beckett loved him. I loved him. But something felt off. Like there was something missing. I didn't want to lead him on or make him think I was ready for any next steps, so after a while I decided to break up with him. It wasn't fair to him to stay in a relationship if I was having doubts.
That relationship felt more real than the one with Harry, if you'd even call what Harry and I had a relationship. Connor and I both live in Dallas, we both work full-time jobs, everything felt like what I imagined a real relationship would feel like, except that one missing piece.
I realized that whatever Harry and I had was just a short-lived vacation romance. Simple as that. There was no way I'd ever see him again. After a few months I lost hope that fate would ever bring us together again and deleted his phone number. It felt like a breath of fresh air to finally let go, but at the same time it was like I was erasing a part of me.
It was my own fault for breaking things off with Harry and I know that. I knew I wasn't ready for a commitment like that and I hope Harry understood that. I learned a lot about myself over that week that I needed to learn from. I had a lot of growing to do.
I've also started going to therapy. Em suggested I go after we got home because my emotions were all over the place for a while and I didn't know how to process everything that I felt or understand why I felt that way. I also worked on my anxiety and how I need to learn to not give into my fears if the outcome of giving in isn't what I truly want. Safe to say there were more things I needed to improve on than I realized.
I've gotten to a place now where I'm ready for a long-term commitment. I'm ready to settle down and give Beckett a daddy. I'm ready to have the type of family I've been dreaming of for the past year.
I know now that when something good walks into my life I'm going to pursue that with an open heart and an open mind.
Today is the last day of school for the school year. I'm going to miss my kiddos a lot. I lucked out with a great class this year.
