nineteen

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"So he's picking you up in a half an hour?" Em asks from her spot where she sits at the foot of my bed

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"So he's picking you up in a half an hour?" Em asks from her spot where she sits at the foot of my bed.

I'm sitting at my desk doing some light makeup for the date with Harry tonight. I don't feel the need to go all out since it's just Harry.

Having two days to process everything helped me. I talked things through with Em and she talked some sense into me.

She told me I've been saying I'm ready for a new relationship then proceeded to ask me why I'm closing myself off to something with Harry so quickly. Apparently she wasn't too fond of what I told her about what I said to him. She said I was being snarky and a little bitchy, which wasn't my intention. I just didn't know what to think and I was in shock that I was actually seeing him again.

But tonight signifies a new start. He's willing to give me a second chance, so I'm going to own up to my mistakes and take the chance he's giving me. I'm going to tell him I regret ending things with him. The feelings that have begun to resurface after talking to him once convinced me that we could've made things work.

What we felt for each other would have been enough.

We could have figured things out.

I miss him.

"Yeah, he is. Is it weird that I'm excited now?" I ask her, keeping my focus on my eyebrow pencil so I don't mess it up.

"I don't think so. I mean if I were in your shoes I'd be ecstatic I got another chance. I know how awful you felt after breaking up with him. You're lucky he's so willing to see you again."

"Wow, thanks, Em," I say sarcastically. "You didn't have to say it like that," I laugh out while finishing my eyebrows and looking in the mirror to make sure they're even.

"I'm just trying to be honest. He must be a special kind of man to take you back after that," I hear her say from behind me.

"Okay, that's enough of that. You know how much I regret it, so I don't want to hear it anymore," I tell her with an annoyed tone. My eyebrows look about as even as they can get, so I move onto my eyes and grab the eyelash curler and begin to curl them.

"I know," she pauses. "So what are you expecting going into this? I mean are you wanting to go back to how things were?"

Em has been my reality check over the past year. She's kept me sane while also driving me insane. Mostly because she's telling the truth and I don't want to admit it to myself.

"I'm trying to go into it with no expectations, but I do wonder if we can get back to what we were. Is it wrong to wonder that already?" I ask her, finishing curling the one eye and moving onto the other.

"I think you can wonder, but it may be good to see what his intentions are first," she advises.

She's right again. Like always.

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