Two Steps Behind

Part 5

 Elizabeth stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, putting the finishing touches on her makeup. She was so nervous about tonight, and she didn't know why. Hanging out with Eddie used to be as easy as breathing. She never felt more comfortable than she did when she was around him, but now her body felt all knotted up and on edge.

But who was she kidding? She knew exactly why she was so nervous. She was so worried about him figuring out her secret, the secret she'd been concealing from everyone for five years. And, if she was completely honest, because time and distance had not changed anything about how she felt about him. She'd thought it would. Surely that much time apart would make everything lessen, like a dying ember after a fire's gone out. But no, it has flared right back up into a blaze. The minute she had seen those beautiful brown eyes and he had graced her with that glorious smile, her heart had twisted in her chest. Damn him for being so cute.

She had thrown on a black t-shirt and jeans and then added a jean jacket. It wasn't particularly cold out. She could have gone without the jacket, but she was trying to hide the shame she didn't want anyone to see, particularly him. Elizabeth also didn't want to dress up too much. She was trying to keep things casual. They were friends. This was just a casual dinner between friends, catching up with each other.

Grabbing her bag, she headed out the front door, locking it behind her. She began to head into town. The sun still shone in the sky, but it was low. Soon, though, the sun would stay out well into the evening and night, and she looked forward to it. She had learned to appreciate the light and all of the safety it could bring. The dark hid all the scary, nasty things that were waiting to hurt you.

Arriving at Gino's, she pushed the door open and walked in. The familiar aroma of baking pizza dough hit her nose and her stomach responded with a low rumble. This place had not changed at all in the last five years. The color scheme was warm with blazing reds and oranges and the lighting was low enough to be intimate but not so low as to make you sleepy.

She spotted Eddie as he stood up from a booth and waved to her, an immense smile on his face. Just seeing his face, she felt the tension from earlier relax a bit. She would still have to be sharp so she didn't slip up but she could at least let herself enjoy a dinner with her best friend.

"Hey," she said, reaching out to hug him.

"Hey yourself."

They sat down, not even looking at the menu. It was funny to her how, all this time later, they still just fell into old habits. They always ordered a large pizza with pepperoni, mushrooms, onions, and extra cheese. Elizabeth also ordered a glass of red wine for herself while Eddie got a beer.

"So, how did your dinner turn out for your mom last night?" Eddie asked as they waited on their pizza.

"Oh good. I kept it simple. I just made spaghetti. Not very fancy, but always a hit."

"Obviously. Who doesn't love spaghetti? Okay, so I have barely seen or heard from you for five years," he said, folding his hands on the table and leaning toward her. "Fill me in. I want to know everything about your life. How is marriage and how is your job and what have you been up to?"

Elizabeth flinched. Of course he was going to want to play the catch up game. What did she expect after four years of not talking? They were old friends and this was what people did. They shared about all the things the other had missed, but she didn't want him to know what he'd missed. Elizabeth didn't even want to think about it. How was she supposed to talk her way around this?

"Hey," Eddie said, tilting his head, those warm eyes locking onto hers with concern. "Elizabeth, what's going on? It shouldn't be that hard of a question. You look like I just asked you to solve world hunger or something."