Two Steps Behind

Part 14

Two weeks later, Elizabeth was walking through town toward home, her spirits high. She had just left an interview with the principal of Hawkins Elementary about a first grade teaching position that would be opening in the fall. The current teacher was retiring at the end of the year, and her mom had mentioned to him that her daughter was back in town and in need of a teaching job. He had called her a few days ago and asked if she could come in for an informal chat. It had gone really well and he had told her the job was hers if she wanted it, which she did. If she was going to get out of her mom's house and get a fresh start, she was going to need a job.

Mind you, she still had spring and summer until that

happened so she would have to find something else in the meantime. She figured she would check around town and see if there were any stores or restaurants that could use some extra help. Just something to get her by until the teaching job started in late August.

She could help her mom out with groceries and things and maybe even set a little aside. If she did it correctly, she could be looking for her own place by the fall. Nothing big. She figured just an apartment for now. It wasn't like she was going to need a ton of space. Elizabeth just wanted to make sure she stayed close to her mom. Moving away had seemed so exciting before but after all that time away, feeling isolated from the people she loved the most, she was looking forward to staying at home.

Her and Eddie had spent a lot of time together lately, and it was proving to be good for her soul. She found she could almost, not quite, but almost forget about all of her pain for a while when she was with him. He had this way of just smoothing every jagged edge she had. It was impossible not to smile and laugh when he was around. Elizabeth would see his face and instantly all her tension melted away.

The only problem was that she was finding it harder to ignore the way she felt. Each time they saw each other, the desire to tell him that yes, she loved him, but she was also in love with him became stronger. The urge to finally find out what it would feel like to have his lips pressed against hers became incessant, nagging at the back of her mind, and she would have to remind herself to stop staring at his mouth.

The thing was, she had known she was in love with him since she was fifteen. They had been best friends for four years, sleeping at each other's houses and spending almost every waking moment together outside of school. Then, one day, it just changed for her. It was, for lack of a better metaphor, like a lightning strike of realization that left her stunned and confused.

She had been at his band practice, which was nothing new. She attended a lot of their practices. But this time felt different. As she watched his fingers manipulate that guitar, her thoughts went to an entirely new and uncomfortable place. She looked at him, wondering how she had never noticed before how goddamn beautiful he was. His shoulders had broadened in the last year and he had gained several inches in height. His brown hair, which he had grown into long waves, was framing his face as he focused so intently on the chords he was playing. She had the strongest urge to run up there, grab that leather jacket, and kiss him.

She had been unnerved that day because she didn't know what to do with these new feelings. He was her very best friend, her person. They were like brother and sister, weren't they? Well, clearly not if she was having thoughts like that. She'd never told him any of it, even as her feelings only grew stronger. She had dated other people and watched him date other people and always kept her mouth shut. Elizabeth was scared of losing her best friend because she didn't see how he could ever feel the same way. And even if he did, what if it didn't go well? What if it ended and she lost him anyway? She needed him too much to risk that.

And now, well, now she was a mess. Who in the hell would ever want to take on her and her disaster of a life? She couldn't possibly put this on him. He'd already done more for her than he should have. And again, what if he didn't feel the same? She had lost everything. He was one of the only bright lights left in her life. Elizabeth didn't think she would survive losing him too. No, it was better to just suppress the crazy thoughts in her head and be friends.