Two Steps Behind

Part 17

 "Double espresso for Julie," Elizabeth called out, setting the cup down on the counter. The girl approached, grabbing it with a smile and then headed out the door.

She let out a sigh as the last of the morning rush headed out the door. The morning would still be continuously steady with customers but that initial two hours was always insane. It was a revolving door of caffeine addicts, desperate for the jolt they needed to start their day. Grabbing their coffee and dashing out the door to start their daily grind.

It had been two weeks since she started this job, and she had not heard another peep from David since the flower incident. Elizabeth was finally allowing herself to relax a bit. She spent the first week constantly looking over her shoulder, holding her breath every time she walked into her moms house until she saw nothing out of place, and sleeping with the lights on because she couldn't face the shadows the night created and the nightmares they brought with them.

Eddie hadn't allowed her to be at the house alone since it happened. He had juggled shifts at the music store with his employees so he could be there whenever her mom couldn't. She told him it was unnecessary but he wouldn't hear it. Apparently, when he told her he wasn't going to let anything happen to her, he meant it.

Not that she didn't appreciate it. She did, more than she could possibly ever express to him. When she had told him that she only felt truly safe with him, it was true. The moments when she felt the most secure, the most happy, the most at peace, were with him. She wanted to be around him all the time, but she didn't want him to screw up his life for her. She didn't want Eddie to start seeing her as a burden, resenting her for driving a wrench into everything he'd worked so hard for.

They often did nothing when they were together. They watched movies, they played board games, they smoked, and they talked. God, they had talked so much the last couple of weeks about anything and everything under the sun. She didn't have any more secrets from him now. He knew everything that had happened over the last three years and while she had initially thought talking about it would make it worse, it had actually felt like she had taken some of the anger and sadness and handed it off to Eddie. It felt like he was helping her carry it so she wasn't buckling under the strain of it. Whether she should be allowing him to do so, she wasn't sure.

The biggest problem was it was getting harder to ignore how he made her feel. She tried to kid herself into believing that these feelings were just because he was a lifeline, and she was imprinting on him simply because he was there. It was bullshit, and she knew it. She could lie to everyone else, but she couldn't lie to herself. She could make excuses all day long, but the reality was she had loved him forever. Time and distance hadn't made a bit of difference. If, at any time, he had given her the slightest inkling that he had felt the same way, she never would have made the biggest mistake of her life. It was always supposed to be him.

And, at this point in her life, if it couldn't be him, she would be okay spending the rest of her days alone. Elizabeth knew she could never bring herself to trust a new guy again, not after everything that had happened. She was too aware now of how easily someone who appeared to be good could be hiding all their darkness behind a pretty mask. She wouldn't put herself in that position again, not after she'd risked everything to get away.

"Whoo...it is always a relief when that morning rush ends," Angie commented, sitting down for a moment at the counter. "It makes the time go fast but damn, my feet hurt. Nothing like standing for three hours straight."

Elizabeth poured them both a coffee and came around the counter, sitting down next to her. She and Angie had become fast friends after their heart to heart. It was kind of amazing how someone you hated could become someone you loved given a little bit of time, growing up, and shared experiences. Even if that shared experience was a shitty marriage.