Why Him? || Steddie

Chapter 37

(TW: suicidal thoughts)

The sounds of sniffles and sobs went on for what felt like forever. While the others couldn't handle any more of the pain, I stuck behind for support....even if it was from behind the other side of a door.

How did it come to this? We were so happy a few minutes ago. I had finally gotten my feelings off my chest...

   It was at times like these where I wish we had continued to know each other under normal circumstances. Meeting in a senior chemistry class...and through trials (mostly just my own self doubt), we got together in the end.

  However, that isn't our story. This is...and I need to support him to the best of my abilities with what's been placed in front of us. With the palms of my hands I managed to push myself off of the floor to turn the door handle slowly.

"Just leave me alone." Eddie gasped for air. As I peaked my head into the room, my eyes were met with a red and tear stained Eddie. He looked...terrible.

"I can't do that and you know it, Eds." I sighed again before walking over to his bed and sitting near his feet. "You aren't alone in this. Don't make yourself be."

"You don't understand, Harrington... he was my best friend. I...no one would understand."

"He was mine too, Eddie." I slowly slid my hand on top of his. "I'd probably know how you feel more than anyone else would."

"Then..." Eddie's hand flinched under mine "why aren't you sad? I mean I'm having a full on breakdown and you seem...fine."

"I'm not, Eds. Really. Every day I miss him like hell. When you were gone too I..." Should I really go into this? What if it doesn't even help...? I guess it was worth it to let Eddie know he wasn't alone.

"I wanted to end it, Eddie. Every day. If it wasn't for Robin, I probably would have." I sighed as I lightly squeezed onto his hand trying to not hurt him. "You need a Robin...and I'd like to try and be that for you."

"Steve..." Eddie's face started to frown. "It hurts so much..."

I slowly let go of his hand to slide closer onto his bed and leaned to hug him. While he couldn't hug back, I needed to. When I first found out I hugged Robin a lot. I can only assume Eddie would need the same. "I know..."

We sat in silence for what felt like forever. The only noise being sobs from Eddie into my shoulder as I ran my fingers through his hair.

This was hard. Way too hard to go about it alone. But now...we had each other.

An hour had passed before a nurse had to come in to make sure that Eddie was taking his medications. By that time, the hug was over and we were just together.

Eddie had stopped crying but I could tell that he wasn't completely alright as the lady poked another needle into his arm.

"Th-thanks for helping me." Eddie smiled before turning his head slightly to the nurse.

"It's my job, kid." She responded while analyzing the IV to make sure it had no air bubbles.

"Yeah...I know...but we're still in Hawkins. I know what people think I did."

The lady sighed before placing her hand on his shoulder. "You don't look like a killer to me. You're just a child."

Eddie's lips turned upwards into a soft smile. "Thank you."

The lady softly patted his shoulder before heading out the door. "I'll be back in a few hours."

"See? You could probably live a normal life after this. It's just a matter of convincing people that it wasn't you...which isn't a lie. You didn't do anything, Eds." I smiled before nudging Eddie's hand softly.

Eddie's smile slowly became softer until it was nonexistent. "I mean yeah...but doesn't it...feel bad to blame it all on someone else?"

"I mean...yeah...but they need a face to the crime...it's not like we can exactly tell them some demon guy killed everyone...that and Jason's dead so it's really not ruining his life..."

Eddie sighed before titling his head towards me. "I guess..."

There was a creak from the door up ahead. As I looked up, it was Robin and Max peaking their heads through the door. This time, with Lucas close behind them.

"Hey..." Robin awkwardly laughed "can we come in...?"

I looked over to Eddie before nudging his hand again to see what he would want.

Eddie didn't respond for a long time as we just sat in silence. After a few minutes Eddie nodded to the best of his ability.

The group slowly walked in and took their seats around Eddie's bed. All of them just staring at him. If he could see, I'm pretty sure he would feel really uncomfortable by it.

"Robin...is Max with you?"

"Yeah...I'm here Munson." Max awkwardly smiled before lifting her hand like he could see it.

"I'd like to say sorry." Eddie sighed before wrapping his hand around mine. His face flinching in pain as he did so.

"What...? I mean you were totally right..." Max looked over at Lucas with an awkward smile. "We...should have protected him."

"I wasn't though, Max. The kid...he had a mind of his own. If you had tried to stop him, he would've found another way."

Max stayed silent for a long time while staring at Eddie. She knew he was right. Henderson was...so strong headed. Once he put his mind to something, there was no changing it.

"You still there, Mayfield?" Eddie softly smiled "Remember that I can't see you so uh...are you?"

Max's eyes widened as she looked over to the me and Robin before we nodded.

"Sorry, I...I didn't know." She mumbled before putting her hands together between her legs.

"No no it's fine I mean...it's not super obvious I hope...unless you're Mike then I guess it is." Eddie laughed under his breath. "I still can't believe he asked"

I felt a smile creep on my lips as well "I know right? Who does that?"

We started to laugh together as I lightly squeezed a little harder onto his hand. Even in rough times, Eddie still saw the bright sides to things.

"He asked you?!" Max blurted out while laughing.

"Yeah! And in front of everyone too!" Robin laughed as well. "You should've been there"

Max smiled before looking at Lucas who was smiling and shaking his head "classic Wheeler..."

We sat and laughed about how blunt Mike could be. The conversation soon changed to other things. Like skating, basketball, and D&D.

I couldn't help but smile. Even though things sucked...

We still had each other.

And that's what mattered.