You're Good Enough

Chapter 46

"You're useless Yagi! Absolutely nothing! No one could ever love a fat disgusting pig like you." Inko screamed as she turned away. I held myself as she screamed. "I-I'm sorry Alpha. D-don't leave." I whispered, hoping she wouldn't leave me. "Why would I stay with you?! You disgusting." She slapped me and I fell to the floor, not from the force but from how much it hurt. She walked out the door slamming it behind her. I felt my self jolt up, no longer in Inkos arms. I curled into myself, sobbing as quietly as I could. I felt a hand on my back that I could tell was Inkos. "What's wrong Toshi? Why're you crying?" She's right. She's right. She's right. I'm fat and ugly and useless, she doesn't want me. I felt Inko pick up her hand and I shrank away whimpering. "Pl-please don't hit me." She backed away slowly, putting her hands where I could see them. "Oh baby. I would never hit you. What made you think that?" I look at her slowly and carefully. "Y-you said it. I-in my dream. Th-that I-I'm fat and u-ugly and disgusting. That n-no one would w-want me. When I a-asked you to st-stay you hit m-me. I-I'm sorry. D-don't be mad please. Don't le-leave." She pushed my hair back again looking at me seriously. "I would never ever leave you Toshi. And why would I ever be mad about this?" I shrugged. "Ca-cause I'm being we-weak. If I-I'm weak I'm u-useless. No one wants a-a useless o-omega." She continued pushing my hair back. "You aren't weak or useless. Don't say that Toshi. Try to not even think it. I know it's hard baby. But at least try. Can you promise me that? That you'll try?" I nodded. I can try. I can do that much for her. She smiled at me, kissing the crown if my head. "Good baby. I'm proud of you." I purred, pushing myself into her hand. "Beautiful Toshi," she whispered. "You think you can go back to sleep. I quickly shook my head. "No. No. Please no. Don't make me. Pl-please." I started yelling and it became a whisper. She shushed me bringing my head to her chest and laying down. She continued petting my head and began rubbing my back soothingly. "Shh. It's okay baby. I won't make you okay? We're gonna lay here and cuddle and I'll hum okay?" I nodded. I don't have to sleep again. I can't go to sleep. I can't be told I'm worthless again. I don't like what might happen if I do. Though maybe it wouldn't be so bad; then Inko will be happy. Inkos humming stopped as she began growling. "Don't you dare Toshinori. I want you here, with me. I am happy with you. And with our pup." She rubbed my ever growing belly. Oh God. I would kill our pup if I did that. Tears poured down my cheeks. "Oh God. Oh God. I-I. Oh God." My breathing stopped and trying to get air into my lungs just made it worse. "Hey. Hey Toshi. It's okay. I wouldn't have let you baby. Nothing would've happened to you or our pup. Breath. Follow me. In... Out... Good boy. Again.  In... Out... Good job beautiful. One more time. Can you do that?" I nodded. "Good. In... Out..." I did it with her, my breath becoming slightly better. "Amazong job beautiful. Better?" I nodded again. I'm so tired but I can't sleep. I can't go back there. "You're tired baby. You can't stay like this. Awake forever. It isn't good for you. I'll be right here Toshi. If anything happens, if you wake up from that again I'll be right here to help. Just sleep and I'll be here." I shook my head quickly. "I c-can't. Not back th-there. Pl-please." My tears had slowed but were still running down my face. "Shh. I won't make you. It will be your decision. But please. Choose to sleep. It'll be so much better for you. Sleep baby. It'll be better baby." I shook my head. I can't sleep. But she needs to. I can use my omega command. It isn't close to as strong as an alpha command but I have enough conviction. "I can't but you need to Inko. Sleep Alpha!" She looked at me with sadness and concern. "Baby. Don't do this." She was already beginning to fall asleep feeling the effects of both a late night and my command. "No. You need to sleep Alpha." I growled and her eyes finally closed and her breathing evened. "I'm sorry. But I couldn't let you destroy yourself for me." I whispered, kissing her and getting up. I made myself coffee. I'm tired but I can't sleep until that dream leaves my brain. I made another and another until it was 10 AM and Inko walked out of the bedroom, looking worried. Her eyes fell on me and she rushed over. "Oh Toshi. I thought you did something." She kissed me carefully. "I di-didn't. I just drank c-coffee. I-I'm sorry u dud that but I didn't w-want you to destroy y-yourself for me." She squeezed me. "You can't go without sleep forever. You're going to need to eventually pet." I nodded, holding onto her arms. "I k-know. It's j-just until th-that dream leaves my mind." She brushed my head carefully. "I'm sorry baby. None of what she said in your dream is true though. It's all made up." I shrugged, pulling out of the hug and drinking more coffee.  "C-can we just cuddle and watch stuff t-today?  I c-can't do much. Too t-tired." She smiled sadly, nodding. We can baby. We can just rest." We walked to the couch and she laid down with her arms open. "Careful baby. Slowly. Good boy." She whispered as I laid down. I smiled as she pet my hair and grabbed the remote. "Do you want to finish our show prince?" I smiled more nodding.