You're Good Enough

Chapter 51

"Why don't you leave me? You could find someone so much better than me. Why do you choose to stay when you could be happy with someone who isn't broken?" She kissed my head gently before answering. "Because no one could ever be better than you. You are perfect. Yes you have a few problems but who doesn't? I love you and I would choose you no matter what." My tears slowly came to an end and I continued laying there part out of my want to be held and part the command given to me. She just continued to hold me, rubbing her hand along my back. I slowly fell asleep. When I woke up I was still laying on Inko but she was asleep. I sat up slowly, my body aching from forcefully relaxing too quickly. I walked to the bathroom, picking up speed as I felt the urge to throw up. I made it to the bowl before throwing up. After a while it stopped and I sat up, tears in my eyes. I wiped my face and continued to sit there for a while. What if she doesn't want me? Maybe she wants to leave but will feel bad if she does. Maybe she's just waiting until our pup is born so she can leave with them. Then they'd be happy, that's good. Then Inko wouldn't have to deal with me anymore, she can find someone else and they'd raise the pup. I slowly got up and went back to the bedroom where I saw Inko sitting up, waiting for me. "Darling, come here please." I did, sitting next to her and looking at her. Was she mad at me? Did I do something wrong? "Darling I need you to breath. It's okay. No one's mad at you, you aren't in trouble. Slow breaths. Good boy." I did as she said, trying to hold back any tears that tried to escape. "There we go baby. Is that better?" I nodded, looking at my hands, preparing myself to be left. "Baby I'm not leaving you. I'm here and I'm staying here. Okay? I'm never going to choose to leave you. You are all I could ever ask for." I shook my head. "You don't deserve having to deal with my problems. I'm a screw up at best. Please all I want is for you to be happy. I'm tired of making you feel bad. I'm supposed to make you happy, that's how I'm a good omega. But I never do that. I'm a bad omega. All I ever end up doing is make you feel bad. Please. I don't want to be bad anymore. And if making you happy means you find someone better I'll do that. Please Inko. Please." She ran he hand through my hair pulling me so I was straddling her lap, laying on her chest. "Oh baby. You are such a good omega, you make me so happy. Just seeing you smile makes me immeasurably happy. You may not see it but I see you as everything to me. You are perfect my darling omega." Tears rushed down my face as I clung to her. "Please. I don't want you to have to deal with my problems anymore. I just want you to be happy without having to worry about me.  You could find someone so much better, someone who doesn't have all these problems. Please Alpha." She kissed my head, looking at me, studying me. "You are beautiful. I don't have to deal with anything. I choose to love you. Every part of you. My beautiful, lovely, amazing, adorable omega. Okay?" I just nodded, moving my head from her grip and laying my head back on her. I whispered as quietly as I could, "I'm sorry." She gently sushed my, running her hands through my hair and laying down. "Darling boy. I love you so, so much." No. Please no. She can't love me. I don't want to hurt her. I just keep hurting her. "Please no. I don't want to hurt you anymore. You don’t deserve the pain I give you." She pulled me closer, hugging me tightly to her chest before whispering to me, "You are the most perfect thing to ever happen to me. I don't think you could ever hurt me even if you tried. You, my darling Toshi, deserve everything I give you and more. And I hope one day you'll see that."