Star Wars x The 100 - Rise From Darkness

15- Late Night Talks

Everything after Clarke's attempt to save Lexa was a blur. She remembered Luna making orders and Lexa being carried away while Octavia guided Clarke in the other direction. Clarke didn't know what happened next but it was now late at night and she was laying down next to Octavia in a tent.

Clarke tried her best to sneak out of her and Octavia's tent as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake her sleeping friend. It must have been pretty late because when Clarke stepped outside she noticed everyone else seemed to be back in their tents likely asleep.

The only light in all of what remained of Polis was a Campfire set up by Luna's crew. But Clarke didn't mind the overall lack of light. She only needed to see a little bit, already sure she knew where she was going.

Luckily for Clarke, because of Lexa's injury, Luna set her up in her own private tent giving her plenty of room to relax and recover as she slept. That made Clarke's idea of crawling into Lexa's tent even easier without anyone else there to wake up. What Clarke didn't expect was for Lexa to open her tent without Clarke even saying anything, somehow already knowing Clarke was leaning down to do the exact same thing only a moment earlier. Lexa had beaten her to it.

The two didn't exchange a word but Clarke still crawled through the tent's opening, taking a seat next to the now much livelier looking Lexa.

"Couldn't sleep?" Lexa asked Clarke in a soft and rather raspy whisper.

"No." Clarke shook her head. "You?"

"No."

The two women paused, not quite sure how to continue their conversation.

It was Clarke who broke the silence first.

"I'm so sorry."

Lexa paused and didn't say anything, her bright green eyes just staring into Clarke's tearing up blue ones. Clarke truthfully felt horrible inside. She and Lexa were connected in more ways than one and she knew Lexa as a person. She had seen the way she loved and protected the night bloods and yet Clarke still thought Lexa was capable of such evil. The truth was, looks can be awfully deceiving and it was now crystal clear that Lexa was the furthest thing from a true Sith Lord, regardless of whether or not Pyris was able to see that. Based on the injured state Clarke had found Lexa in today in the finally destroyed Polis, Clarke could assume that Pyris had actually figured that out before herself. Still, Clarke's mind wandered right back to the overpowering guilt.

"I almost killed you Lexa..."

"I would have deserved it. I failed those kids. I also failed you though. I turned you into what you are today Clarke. I knew you were strong with the force since you followed me after dinner on the first night of your stay here. I knew I could use our connection through the force to manipulate how you felt about me. I couldn't manipulate myself though. I allowed myself to get distracted and I grew to care for you. That only put you in danger and I'm sorry for that. You really are special though Clarke. The night bloods have always been destined to wield the power of the force but Clarke...you may be a natural wielder as well. I believe you to be the next most powerful Jedi and beacon of hope for the entire Rebel alliance."

Lexa's words were a lot to take in. After Clarke had healed Lexa in the same way Lexa had done for Clarke a day earlier, Clarke's mind started to race. She knew it was possible that she was force strong herself but to hear it out loud from someone else's mouth was a whole other experience.

Clarke didn't want to hear those words. Lexa may somehow still have seen Clarke as a beacon of hope for the rebels but deep down inside, Clarke was horrified. The darkness had consumed her again and she almost killed Lexa the same way she had almost killed Wells a few months prior. It didn't matter how much Clarke cared for someone and how connected she felt to them. At the end of the day, the anger and the fear was what controlled her and Clarke knew that the power of the force wasn't fit for her hands. Clarke wasn't destined to be a Jedi; she was far too weak for that. Lexa might have been playing the pretend role of a Sith Lord in front of Pyris, but Clarke feared that unlike Lexa, she may actually be destined to become one.

"I don't want the force." Clarke admitted. "I'm not strong enough. I can't control it."

"Because of what happened? Clarke I'm fine, if anything I deserved that."

"No." Clarke shook her head. "You don't understand. That wasn't the first time I lost control."

Lexa didn't have anything to say to that and just remained silent. Truthfully, the commander was quite frightened during Clarke's attack only a few hours ago and hearing that it wasn't the first time wasn't very comforting. Especially knowing the last and most important secret Lexa had to keep from Clarke. This wasn't exactly good news. No, not at all.

As far as Lexa's final secret, she felt immensely guilty not telling Clarke. The information she held had the power to change Clarke's life forever, and that's exactly why she chose not to tell the young Arkadian. Clarke had already been through so much (a lot of which was Lexa's fault) and Lexa couldn't possibly add more to that.

"I think I should go now, Clarke."

"What?" Clarke asked, clearly confused.

"I have to get the kids back."

"How are you going to do that alone?"

"It's the only way to do it. If Luna takes me back to Theed tomorrow there's no way The Queen will let me go get them back. Not if the entire fate of the planet is on the line. Sometimes leaders do what they must for their people. They make sacrifices. I don't blame her for that but I also can't leave the kids. I'm going to go kill Pyris."

"You'll die Lexa."

"What is it with you and doubting my fighting abilities Clarke? If I remember right I saved your life from several giant beasts the other day."

"If I remember right I found you almost dead on the ground a few hours ago."

Lexa shook her head and let out a small chuckle. It was a good point. Regardless she had made up her mind already. She was going. Someone had to try. Suddenly Lexa had an idea. It would be incredibly risky and Lexa would end up feeling really guilty if anything went wrong but at the same time it was her best chance at getting the night bloods back. Those kids were like Lexa's own children. She had to try.

"Come with me then Clarke. We'll sneak off right now before the others wake up. You're force strong too. I'm confident we can do it together. If we stay connected, I'm sure we can keep this darkness you speak of under control."

Clarke stared into Lexa's once again bright green eyes, finding herself already trusting the mysterious commander yet again. Despite all the lies, all the pain, and all the loss, Clarke had restored her faith in Lexa.

"Ok." Clarke nodded. "Let's go."

Lexa gave Clarke a feigned smile, already starting to feel immensely guilty inside. Clarke had no idea what she was getting into. Lexa knew but she had to prioritize the kids. This was necessary. Besides, she'd be sure to do her best to protect Clarke more closely this time. They were a good team when they stayed connected. Lexa was sure she could make this work. She had to.