Warnings: dissociation, fear, mention of murder, main character death, DEATH DEATH DEATH
Word count: 1142
･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･
I couldn't shake what Jake had said. Why would he want me to run? What did I do wrong? I'm finally doing something helpful in this world and he doesn't want me around. And what about Marc and Steven? I can't just leave them!
And Khonshu would kill me if I left. Kill. Me.
I would like to be alive for a little longer just until I'm bored of life again. And I'm not bored right now! I am useful! I like being useful!
'You're not being useful, you're being used' a voice in my head says. I assume it's my conscious and push it away. When have I ever listened to you?
But maybe my conscious is right. I shouldn't be killing people just because I'm told to. I- What if maybe they aren't always the bad guys? What if I'm assuming that because Khonshu tells me to? Whatever happened to the girl who didn't listen to authority figures??
She became a lackey... that's what.
"Amaris? You spaced out," Steven grins, looking at me with a sliver of concern flashing across his face before his silliness takes over.
Blinking a few times, I mumble, "Oh... sorry. Didn't realize." Of course, you didn't realize, you idiot. You're the one spacing out, dumbass!
"No, you're alright," he tells me, turning the tv off, "This show is boring anyway. What are you thinking about?"
I wasn't expecting a straightforward question like that. Taken aback, I stutter, "Oh, uh. Nothing much. I guess my head was empty." Lies. My head is racing a million miles an hour.
Steven nods, "Hm. You know, you're dad is becoming increasingly worried for you. He's noticing little things like the fact you space out more. I dunno. I think he's a bit crazy, but then again, I've never been a dad."
It takes me a minute to realize he wasn't talking about Khonshu. "Tell him I'm fine," I glance at him awkwardly, fumbling with the edge of a pillow in my hands. I'm anything but fine, though, and both Steven and Marc know this.
"Kiddo," Marc fronts, "You're the biggest liar I've ever known. And I live with myself."
I hesitate. What would happen if I tell them the truth? They both do not like Khonshu, and if I told them I made a deal with him... That just wouldn't go over well.
"I just can't tell you," I state, staring directly into his eyes so he knows that that isn't a lie.
Marc grimaced, "So clearly, whatever is going on, I wouldn't approve of it. You better not be smoking again. You know how I feel about that."
I have, but that's not what's been bothering me. "You used to smoke, too. But that isn't it," I sigh, "It's complicated..."
"More complicated than having another person in my head?" Marc half-jokes.
"Probably," I mumble.
Marc pauses, unsure of what to say next. I mean, what do you say? "Whatever it is, I won't get mad... I promise," he tells me quietly. I don't even know if I'm allowed to tell him.
How do I even begin? And how would he react? I know he said he wouldn't get mad, but how keen is he on keeping his word if he hears what's actually going on? I mean- I murder people for fun because a stupid bird told me to!
Another beat passes and he just sighs. "I wish I could tell you..." I whisper.
~
Later that night, Khonshu didn't show up, which made me... sad? Talk about daddy issues, god! Jake leaned against a wall in a dark corner, brooding. He doesn't make sense to me. Jake can be this super dark guy, but he can also be a soft and understanding, and caring person.
I don't know... I don't normally get both in a human being.
I just sit uncomfortably on my bed, dreading when Khonshu tells me who I've got to kill next. I mean, they deserve it, right? But did that last guy deserve it? Khonshu never even told me who he was or what he had done. I just did it with no complaints or questions.
"I told you to run," Jake said suddenly.
"I don't understand. Why?" I ask, trying to read him, but unable to figure him out.
"It is not weird that you regret anything. This job is... daunting. I want you to run before you do something you can't ever come back from," he tells me, walking in my direction.
"But-" I start, but I was interrupted.
"I'm trying to protect you, love. You need to run before it gets worse," he says, staring off into the distance a bit.
"Why don't you run?" I ask.
"It's too late for me. Go... I'll leave Marc and Steven a note for you in case they front," Jake assures, kissing my forehead. He helps me up and opens the front door, handing me my things.
"What would you say to them? Marc and Steven," I ask.
"The truth," he states.
~
As I stumble down the hallway, trying to put my shoes on while still walking, I feel a darkness hovering over me but I don't turn around. I head down the elevator, a sense of paranoia residing with me as an old lady enters about a floor down.
As the doors close, I saw the old bird stumbling down towards me, but I try not to make a face when he yells. He's clearly livid.
The old lady tries to make conversation with me but I just answer without listening. A small laugh and a yeah leaves her confused as we hit the ground floor. As soon as the doors open, I sprint out of there.
I'm not sure how fast Khonshu is, but I don't want to find out...
Sprinting down the midnight streets, I don't care if someone yells at me for accidentally bumping into them. I find myself in a park, so I take a little break to breath. I lean against a tree and pace myself, feeling my heart slow as I close my eyes and cry.
I don't know what Khonshu is going to do if he finds me, so I had better hurry. Composing myself once more, I run again. I don't have any money, so it's not like I can go far, but I sure as hell can try.
As I pass onto the bridge of the River Thames, I am stopped by a creepy man who wants some cash. When I can't give him any, he takes my bag and pushes me into the water.
I plunge into darkness, feelings my lungs explode under the weight of all that water and no oxygen. I gasp for breath but nothing comes. I try to swim upwards, but I'm not strong enough, with my bad leg and all.
Giving in to the black of night, I drift away into nothingness.
･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･
a/n: sorry I just killed the main character. but there's still more chapters, so who knows if shes dead lol. just like moon knight.
i also did not intend to kill my main character when this story started. it kinda just happened.
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Daughter of the Moon
Fanfiction-Sequel of To the Moon and Back- A small visit from the old bird she never wanted to see again turned into her always wanting to constantly make him proud of her. She wishes she could tell herself why... Now that she knows who she is, she feels that...
