I Fell For You

Chapter 31: Break

Sabi nila, masakit daw ang maiwan ng taong minamahal. It was a dreadful and painful feeling that both my father and my brother experienced once in their life. Hindi ko man nakita kung paano si Daddy noon pero nakita ko kung gaano nasaktan si Kuya Cryd noong iniwan siya ni Ate Sav.

I could not talk to him for days. He rarely eats or goes out of his room. He was always impatient, and moody. Even my mom, couldn't calm him down. He was destructive for months. And when he went back to his senses, I knew it wasn't the same Kuya I had. He was different, more stoic, and subtly scary.

Kaya may pait sa akin noon para kay Ate Savanna dahil nawitness ko kung paano nagluksa ang kapatid ko, at paanong naapektuhan din noon ang pamilya namin. Hindi ko maintindihan noon kung bakit iniwan niya ang kapatid ko gayong mahal niya ito. At hindi ko rin maintindihan kung bakit sobrang nasira si Kuya sa pag-alis niya kahit pa bata pa ang pagmamahalan nilang 'yon.

If love was that destructive, then why are people so keen on finding their soulmates? At hindi ba dapat, kung mahal mo, ipaglaban mo? That is love's rule of thumb.

I was confused more when my cousin, London, decided to leave the country after he met an unfortunate accident. Nagalit ako noon na kaya niya kaming iwan, pati na ang mahal na mahal niyang si Ate Cash. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit. Dahil kung mahal mo pala ang isang tao, bakit mo kailangang iwan?

I just don't get it!

Dapat ay hindi ako sasama noon sa paghatid kay Kuya London sa airport but my mom talked me out of it. She knows hat he's my closest cousin, and I would regret it eventually if I don't say good-bye.

"Why do people leave the person they claim to love? That is selfish and rude!" Was what I told my mother then. Kamuntik pa kong maiyak sa sobrang inis sa naging desisyon ng pinsan.

"Ieva, to leave the person you love takes more courage than you think. Of course, only if it's done with good intentions." Ngumiti si Mommy sa akin at inayos ang mga takas kong buhok. Ngumuso ako at nakinig sa kanyang sinasabi.

Good intentions? Kahit makakasakit ito sa mga taong maiiwan? How selfish...

"To let go of someone you truly love may be the most selfless thing someone could do for their partner. Madaling sabihin na ipaglaban hangga't mahal pa. Pero ang tunay na pagmamahal, nagpaparaya rin. There are many possible reasons why, but trust me, not because someone leaves, their love is less and shallow. Because a love that makes sacrifices is also a love that's true."

Nakita siguro ni Mommy ang hindi pagtitiwala sa mga sinabi niya kaya natawa siya at sa huli ay hinalikan ako sa pisngi. "In time, you will know, Ieva."

It took me a while to realize what she meant by that. I always find it ridiculous when people invest feelings for a love that's unpredictable, and uncertain. I always find it cringe to see people cry for love. Kaya siguro hindi rin ganoon katindi ang naging unang relasyon ko.

But then I guess... I never really had fallen in love until I met the prince. Because now I completely understand...

That to love someone truly is to jump into a void of uncertainties. To love someone is to feel at peace amidst the chaos. To love is to prepare yourself for pain, to prepare yourself for the storm. Loving isn't only about the clear skies and the rainbows. Loving comes with thunders, and thorns. And loving also means having the courage to sacrifice.

To leave for the greater good or to fight and endure for a love that's deep. Now, these are my two only options. Siguro mas madali ito kung simpleng bagay ang dapat na iconsider. Kagaya ng career, o 'di kaya'y normal na misunderstanding.

In our case, it's the safety of my own family. At nasisiguro kong, hindi ko hahayaang mangyari muli ang nangyari kay Kuya Cryd.

Iyon ang nasa isip ko habang pinagmamasdan si Ephraim na nag-sasalita sa stage sa harap ng kanilang palasyo. Different media reporters are all over the palace to document the start of the mourning. Maraming Zakarian din ang nakapalibot. Although there's a crowd, the whole place was entirely silent. Walang nag-sasalita at sa ibang banda ay naririnig ko ang iilang takas na hikbi.