Angel eyes- leah williamson (wlw)

8

Leah's pov

As soon as I woke up and saw Jordan's messages I panicked. We both agreed that things were done between us and we would remain friends.

Why does she have to message me when something is finally going right in my life?

I know I have no feeling for Jordan anymore, so when we do talk I know thats what I will say. I also know that it makes no sense, if I had no feeling for Jordan why was I so quick to send Olivia on her way.

I think I was just overwhelmed, I didn't want to explain it all to her and scare her off. For some reason my mind came up with the solution to basically kick her out.

That's definitely not going to push her away Lee well done

I have been annoyed at myself all morning about how ignorant I was being and after she left I just sat and thought about it all, about how much of a bitch I was too her and how much she definitely didn't deserve it after everything she had been through last night.

I wanted to apologise but I thought me talking to Jordan first would somehow help so that's what I did.

I said my goodbyes to my family and got into my car making my way back to the England camp.

I didn't think I wanted to leave this early as I wanted to spend as much time as I could getting to know Olivia, but I messed that up big time.

I arrived at St. George's park a few of the girls had already arrived as camp started in a few days.

I got out of my car with my suitcase and walked inside, I waved at the man at the door with his camera and walked in.

Georgia must've seen me through the glass and ran towards me, I left my suitcase by my side and hugged her.

We had a sweet moment but that soon ended when she shoved my shoulder.

"That was for not telling me you had a girlfriend." I laugh at her annoyed face.

"Yeah well not much to tell, I ruined that today." This time her face shows sympathy, that is something I hate and she knows it so her expression goes neutral.

"Oh for fuck sakes leah, come on let's go to your room. Your telling me everything." She gives me a pointed look.

I nod with a laugh and she leads me to my room and I follow her.

I mean it's my room I would know where it is I don't need a guide, but I would rather not antagonise Georgia when she's like this.

We get into my room and I set my suitcase to the side, she has already made her self comfortable on my bed so I decide to sit at the corner.

"So come on then spit it out, what did you do." And I did what I was told, I told her everything from her calling me, to her spending the night and then to Jordans messages, me kicking her out whilst the only text I sent her is the tickets, with that little bit of hope that maybe it's not all lost and she will come and watch me play and I can apologise for it all.

By the end Georgia looks so angry at me.

"Leah she seems so good for you, I have never once seen you look at someone like you did her and that was only over the phone. You need to stop doing this I don't even think you realise what your doing, everytime jordan comes back you push people away. I'm sure you didn't even give your family a proper goodbye!" I put my head down. She was right Georgia was always right.

I put everything on pause for Jordan and I don't know why, it's not her fault at all she doesn't know what's going on in my life and how awful the timing was but it always seems to work out this way. I ruin everything for her.

I don't even look at Georgia as she tells me she's going to give me space to think about it all, or when she gives me a long hug I cannot even reciprocate the action.

I only flinch when the door shuts.

I messed up, so so bad.

It time I talk with Jordan.

Jordan

                            3:43am

Jordan:leah I think we messed up, can we talk please
Jordan:obviously when you get back from mk, I wanna do this before camp.
Jordan:I'm guessing your asleep.
Jordan:goodnight lee xxx

                              6:53pm
Leah: I'm back now, I'm at camp. When do you want to talk?
                            7:39pm
Jordan: I'm free tomorrow, 12? We can go for a walk. Where I normally walk blu I can bring him with us.
Jordan: it will be like old times yeah?
_____________________________

I only hearted her message as a reply, I don't want to give her any hope. Jords has always been my weak spot, she was my first love I'm always going to have a connection with her.

I just need to set myself and her some boundaries, this has to work with me and liv. I need it to work.

I try and type out a message to liv, just like I did a few hours earlier but I couldn't put into words what I knew I needed to say.

I prefer to say things in person than on text, messages show no emotion but being In person. Watching that person struggle to get out the right words, it will always mean more than a stupid text that they can take back with a simple delete button.

I shake my head at myself and then off my phone. I toss and turn for the majority of the night but that eventually wore me out too. So I fell asleep at 2am hoping I will be able to get up tomorrow without struggle.

Authors note:
Okay so recently I have had to delete only a few comments, just because they were asking why I wasn't putting any smut into my stories. So I thought I would explain why. Yes half of the reason is because of people sexualising women footballers. But the other half is that I'm just not comfortable with writing something so intimate, I thought about it for a while if I wanted to include sexual themes but decided against it. I hope you all support the decision and if you came for smut I'm sorry but this isn't what this book is going to give you. This book is of course going to contain acts of affection between the couple and cute moments between them, but just no smut I'm really sorry. I also want to say rip queen Elizabeth II, to have to rule a country at 25 you have to mature fast and I don't think anyone will ever be able to know what you felt but everyone, people from the uk and people from all over the world respect you and respect everything you have done for the country!
On a brighter note!!!! I have done the first two days of school. And they went great! I'm so sorry I wanted this chapter to come out yesterday but I couldn't find the right words to finish writing I hope you enjoy.
-f