Dedication

Angry Woman

⚠️ trigger warning for eluding to self harm/suicide⚠️

Nicole's POV

I finally realized what that emotion was that I couldn't place my finger on.

Anger

I was angry. Florian stood in front of me wondering what had happened to make these events turn so fast. I was crying because I was hurt and angry.

"Baby what's wrong?" he asked trying to pull me into a hug but i pushed him away. He stood back looking confused.

"You left me. You're supposed to be my HUSBAND and you just up and left me during possibly the hardest time of our marriage. For FOUR MONTHS Florian. You left me and ran back to your parents' house like some kind of baby! And then you come home like you never left!" It was the release I needed the things that had bottled up because I was scared if I said them that I would lose him forever. But now I realized that they needed to be said or it would eat me alive.

"I was hurting!" He replied pleadingly.

I grabbed my sweater off the counter, shoving it over my head.

"So was I!" i retorted. "I was here hurting while you jetted halfway across the world to deal with your pain and left me here alone! We're married! We're supposed to do this together! A few weeks I can understand but damn Florian, four months? Did my pain not matter to you?!" I ended off sadly. He shook his head sadly, I expected him to walk away but instead he came and pulled me into him as I fought him, punching at his chest.

"No Florian! I could have DIED. Do you hear me?! I could have died. But all you thought about was the fact that we lost a baby not that you could have lost us both. So maybe the things I had to do were hard for you to hear and understand but I promise that they were 1000 times harder for me to bare. I was in denial then depression, hell, there were days where I was ready to end it all. But that didn't matter to you, it just mattered that you were away from me. Right?"

He held me while i sobbed, apologizing to me.

"I'm sorry for running. I was scared and hurt but that doesn't make it right and it wont happen again. You wont ever have to go through something alone ever again. I promise. We're a team. We're husband and wife and I'm sorry that i acted like i forgot that. But I'm here now. And were gonna get through this together, no matter how long it takes." He comforted.

"Florian. You can't do that. I thought we were done, over. I spent the first 2 months waiting for divorce papers to arrive at the door and then the last 2 living in limbo just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I thought you'd just walk away without saying goodbye." I confessed.

"Nicole, look at me." He said. I kept my head buried in his chest. "Nicole." He commanded.

I tilted my head up and looked into his eyes and now I saw the remorse that sat in them.

"I'm not leaving you. And if I ever did, I'd at least be man enough to tell you." He stroked both my cheeks looking deep in my eyes pleading for me to believe him.

"Ok." I nodded my head, burying it back in his chest as we tightened our hold on each other. He continued to holding whispering his apologies over and over until I felt them within my soul.

The next morning

I woke up the next morning and for the first time in a long time, Florian was in bed next to me. I opened my eyes and found that he was already awake just staring at me.

"What are you looking at?" I asked, shifting closer to him to wrap my legs around his.

"The most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He answered brushing a strand of my hair behind my ear.