Lone Soldier

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⚠️ trigger warning pregnancy/medically necessary abortion ⚠️

I sat in the OBGYN's office my leg tapping repeatedly. I looked around at all the women in the waiting room. Some far along in pregnancy and others, not showing any signs perhaps not pregnant at all. Perhaps they were here for the reasons I had previously been, regular checkups, getting birth control or any other reason. I looked around anxiously at the soft yellow walls in the room. I knew the pastels were meant to be comforting but right now this waiting room felt so claustrophobic. I could hear my heart beating rapidly in my chest.

"Ms. Jordan." I finally heard my name called and I stood and walking towards the chocolate skinned nurse. She worse pastel pink scrubs, her natural curly hair pinned up on her head.

"Right this way." She gestured and I followed behind her. My eyes swiftly sweeping over the different posters on the wall. I paused on a poster of a smiling baby. It's honey brown eyes and light brown hair hypnotized me. I stood taking in the features of its button nose, dimple on its right cheek and the two little teeth sprouting at the front of its mouth.

"Ms. Jordan?" The nurse called softly.
I snapped out of my trance and made my way over to the exam room she was standing in front of.

"So I see you're in today to get a pregnancy test." She said sitting down in front of the computer.

"Yes." I whispered hoarsely. "I-umm I took one at home but I just want to confirm the results." I explained.

"Okay. I'm gonna take some blood and put a rush on the results. When we get them the doctor will come in with them and discuss them with you." She said.

I nodded. "Have a seat." She gestured to the exam table behind me.

I sat down, hearing the crinkling of the white paper they pulled down over the bed itself.

She pulled out the needle from a drawer and I looked away. I wasn't scared of needles but I definitely didn't want to watch it going in my arm.

"Okay." She smiled putting a bandaid on my arm as she finished.

"The doctor should be back with the results in about 20 to 30 minutes. Sit back and comfortable." She said. I nodded, smilingly softly before she left the room.

I took a deep breathe and exhaled.

I laid back, closing my eyes. I tried to picture what it would look like if Flo and I had a baby. What features it would have. Would it look like me or like him. I hoped it would be a beautiful combination of both of us.

The time seemed to simultaneously fly by and drag on. As I went to check my phone for the time I heard a soft knock on the door followed by a tall, dark haired woman walking in.

 As I went to check my phone for the time I heard a soft knock on the door followed by a tall, dark haired woman walking in

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"Hello Ms. Jordan. I'm Dr. Huntington. How are you today?" She asked.

"I'm good doctor, thank you. Have you got the results of the test?" I asked anxiously.

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