TommyInnit's somewhat deadly tea bags

POV: Your pet doesn't love you anymore

A/N: Here, my wonderful creatures, you deserve another update.

Also, all the pictures on the top of the chapters are just random photos I found on my camera roll.

"TOMMY, I thought I told you not to get more pets!" The shrill voice of Tubbo filled the (very) puny apartment they lived in. Ranboo stood at the side, clearly unpleased by the whole situation at hand- or well, at paw. Tommy on the other hand just looked outraged, Clementine now slouched comfortably over his shoulders.

"Clementine is not just a pet!" Tommy yelled, his voice spiking in disgust at the word pet. "Oh yeah, you're right. It's not a pet, it's a fucking zoo animal." Tubbo screamed again, a hint of tiredness in his voice.

"Just...get her out of here." the small boy swiveled around and walked back over to the kitchen which wasn't really a kitchen, more of a single tile island and the least cold refrigerator the world has ever set eyes on. Tommy stared at Tubbo for a while, before stomping back out of the apartment in a furry.

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"I can't believe it...a zoo animal, a pet. That's all they think of you. Don't worry though Clementine, I'll bring you to the safest place ever. And when I go to work and patrol, I'll just pick you up and we can go together everywhere!" Tommy explained loudly to the red panda who just nodded sleepily every now and then, still slouched across his shoulders like a sack of freshly harvested potatoes.

After a few chilly minutes of Tommy mainly just talking to the sleepy animal, they finally arrived at their wanted destination, the oldest (and I mean oldest), alleyway ever. The cold, ugly bricks surrounded them as Tommy made his way deeper and deeper into the alley. He stepped over boxes and trash littered throughout the ground, before stepping into a tiny little out cut, where you could only get into if you crawled on all fours.

Inside of the out cut, Tommy set a musty blanket with small patches sewn into it, and a little stuff toy of a spider which he dubbed as Shroud. Clementine immediately fell in love with the stuffy, jumping off of him and snuggling up close to the little toy.

"Ok, I'll get you in the morning, then we can go to work together, and you can show of your cuteness and pogness to Niki, Bad and all the Karens who come by to buy shit like teabags, tea, muffins, cakes, cupcakes, biscuits, water bottles and more things." 

Clementine nodded, half asleep and all cuddled up in the blanket, her paws and tail wrapped around Shroud as if the toy were her child. "Awh, why did I give Shroud to you? You clearly love him more then you love me." He pouted, before grinning and patting Clem on the head, the soft fur tickling his fingertips.

Right as he turned around to leave Clementine be, the most pog voice to whole world has ever heard toned out behind him. Tommy wanted to scream, his inner fanboy stanning within himself, but he kept his cool and turned around, hands in his pockets. 

"You're under arrest, Racoon." the great Philza said, looking at his hands, ink clearly smeared all over them, before continuing his words, "For...committing crimes such as". He flipped his hand, looking at the other side, "Such as...". The hero held his hand up to the sky and tried to see the words written on them. "Shit" he cursed under his breath. "Why the hell did I wash my hands with that special pink glitter soap Techno gave me." 

"Uh...you need any help reading that?" Tommy asked, wanting to go home, but as respectfully as he is, offered the poor man some help.

You know, he had to respect his elders and shit. 

"Yeah, I do." Philza showed him his hand and Tommy squinted at it, he was right, the words weren't very legible. "Hmmm, it says here: For committing crimes such as, trespassing, unlicensed...heroism?" he paused, wondering if the author had any idea what they were writing at this moment, and if they even knew any crimes that vigilantes could be punished for, then continued. "Smuggling illegal teabags into L'manburg and... yeah, that's all I can read" 

"Oh well, Racoon, you're under arrest. Put your hands over your head before I shoot you." the great Crowfather himself pulled out his gun, the pogness of the weapon radiating off of it.

"Uhm, I'm very sorry, dear mister Philza all holy, but I have a job to go to tomorrow. And you see, there are a ton of Karens there, so I need a ton of sleep to handle with them...so yeah, I'll see you later mister Philza all holy. Bye!" Tommy rambled before launching his grabbling hook rope into the air, catching onto a building and swinging off.

_-_P.O.V.: Philza (all holy) _-_

I watched the vigilante go, catching his eye for a second, behind the mascaraed mask were sparkling blue eyes, shinning with adrenaline. Yet still, there was a sense of tiredness in them, almost as if the poor vigilante was nothing more than a child begging for help from a world, he knew only bad could happen in.

In that moment, I let him slip away. Yes, of course I could give chase and catch him, but he acted like a child, and probably wasn't much older than 21 (spoilers: he's 16).

Almost on que, two figures landed next to me, one a ghostly shade of blue, the other looking as if he had just left a fairytale picture book. "Where's Racoon?" Techno, or Blade asked, his voice bored sounding and monotonous, though if you listened closely, you could hear the slight sound of aggravation in his tone. "You texted us that he was here, helping you read." Wilbur, or Blue-Ghost, interjected, let down that he couldn't go after the vigilante.

"Don't worry Wil, we'll go catch him soon." I rolled my eyes and grabbed onto my sons, flying off into the cold night.