TommyInnit's somewhat deadly tea bags

15 Dollars worth a friend

"H-How do you know?" He whispered to himself, voice quivering in fear of recognition.

"Oh, I just guessed, but since you have now confirmed that you truly are Raccoon with two C's I really don't have much more work to do. Have fun in Pandora's Vault. Though you will not."

Tommy recognized that voice immediately, it was Pinkie Pie. Hatred boiled through his body and his hands shook a bit.

"You wouldn't dare tell everybody that I'm Raccoon." His tail swung back and forth angrily.

"I would and I will" He was about to cut of Pinkie Pie, but what he said next surprised him quite a bit, "if you don't do exactly what I tell you to."

"Well, what are you going to make me do? Eat a cat?"

"What? No, I love cats. But what I will make you do is-"

"Eat a dog?! You monster I would never eat a dog."

"I never told you to-"

"Eat a HAMSTER?! You horrendous wrongen'"

"I never said that! Now-"

"YOU TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING! WHY WOULD YOU WANT ME TO EAT A RED PANDA?!"

"Shut up! Now let me speak before I really do rat you out to every single hero."

"Wait how are you going to rat me out to the heroes? They probably won't believe you since you are just a random citizen."

The sound of head slamming came from the other side of the phone, "With this level of stupidity I truly am wondering how nobody's guessed your identity yet."

"Oh, you're one to talk prick! After all you are the infamous hero, Ghost!"

The conversation stopped, and all Tommy could hear was breathless wheezing from the other end.

"We do not even have the same hair color for god's sake!"

"Well mister I know everything, there's this thing called a wig.", he grew annoyed with every second that ticked by.

"Anyway, what was the thing you wanted me to do again? Eat a hamster?"

"No and I want you to befriend my brother since he is lonely and does not have a single friend other than his own father."

Tommy mentally backtracked for a moment. "So... You want me to befriend your brother. And you do know that I am a teenager who works at a coffee shop, right?"

"Yes. Now I was thinking you could try talking to him more, he is one of your regulars and you both seem to get along pretty well."

"I've talked to him like 5 times at most. All of the times just me asking for his order name.", he was a bit confuzzled. (Yes, I will use this word, nobody can stop me:D)

"So, you will or will not do it? I have a whole email ready to send to the Hero HQ describing how you are Raccoon."

"Yes! I will, as long as you pay me." If Tommy was going to do this, he wanted to get paid, no matter how much blackmail was thrown into his face.

"I... what? I am threatening you right now and you are thinking about money?"

"Duh, got to pay the rent you know?" He really had to get back into that Manifold Grind.

"Sure, how about 5 bucks?"

"Excuse me? I at least want 20 maybe even 30 if you are feeling generous."

Techno stood on the other end, dumbfounded before sighing, "You can have 15.", this kid really was not the brightest and yet still was one of the most infamous vigilantes of all.

"Now bye."

"OH, YOU BITCH DON'T YOU HANG UP ON ME-"

He hung up and left the child alone.

At least Wil would get a friend.

_____________________

A/N

That's right, I POSTED TWO WHOLE CHAPTER IN ONE WEEK.

Also, I'm sick and my friend @ThatNegativeShipper is currently sitting next to me very intensely staring me down whilst I write this. Y'all should be happy for what I live through to post a tiny little chapter.

Bye bye!