TommyInnit's somewhat deadly tea bags

Glitter is so fire

Yes, the drive to the police station was in fact, absolute shit.

Géörgé had the strangest songs on, Heatwaves, Your heart lies in October and BRUNO MARS.

Oh god, just thinking about Bruno made Tommy sick to the stomach, what a horrible man he was, always singing about bitches and cars. Why would somebody ever like bitches or cars?

...

Tommy liked bitches and cars.

"Well, we'll be putting you into a holding cell for now until we reach the people who have put out a missing person report on you. So, how old are you kid?" George said, driving the car through the busy streets into the 2nd district. Rich fucking police.

"I'm not a kid, I'm 19." He mumbled, he was not in fact 19, but because he didn't even have a legal guardian, he sort of had to lie. I mean, who could blame poor Tommy?

"Yeah I don't believe you, we'll pull up your legal documents soon enough and check your real age."

Tommy panicked, even he didn't have his actual legal documents, just a fake drivers license and a fake I.D.

"Uhm- Yeah...yeah! Legal documents! You guys won't have to check those, I've got an I.D. and a drivers license.", he grinned at George and pulled out his I.D. and drivers license.

The detective parked the car and looked at the I.D. and drivers license, inspecting them closely. After a couple moments, he spoke up again and Tommy stared at him with wide eyes.

"Your birthdates are different on both...on your I.D. it says you are born on December 4th. On your drivers license it says you are born on April 9th...", George looked up at him with a raised eyebrow (freak).

Tommy stared at him and then stumbled over his words, "Well, big man, it seems as if...the law is wrong! The law has faked my birthday! They must have made a huge mistake!"

George stared at him more, blinking a few times and then speaking again, "Brother, these are both fake. They're cardboard.", he snapped his license in half.

Okay, the fool proof plan of his license and I.D. did not in fact work, curse 12 year old Tommy for making an I.D. and a drivers license out of cardboard.

"Alright, not only did you just show me a fake I.D. and a fake license, you lied to a police officer. You are for sure going into detainment until we find your guardians.", George started the police car again and Tommy panicked.

This was not supposed to happen! He was supposed to get away with things!

There was only one answer left...and it might take Tommy a lot of will power to do. 

"Oh my! I think I'm sick!", Tommy bent over and George pulled over immediately, rushing out of the cop car. 

George was yelled and opened up the back of the door, "Get out! I have to clean my own car if it gets dirty!"

Perfect, the little detective or policeman or whatever had fallen into his trap.

Tommy suddenly unbuckled the seat belt and stumbled out.

"Oh my...I think I'm sick with...tom-foolery!"

Tommy booked it across the street, George running after him, yelling at him to get back.

Yet, Tommy's legs were nimble and quick and very much super ultra sigma male strong. A simple cop could never catch up with him-

He looked back behind him and found the cop keeping up very well. 

The blonde looked around and ran into an alleyway, hoisting himself up a drain pipe to escape from the cop. "Adios loser!"

He climbed up the pipe with the cop yelling at him from behind him, god, Tommy was so good at life.

He stumbled onto the roof and let off a sigh of relief and then, on the high roof he heard a voice cough awkwardly, turning around, Tommy came face to face with none other than...the Blade! Just Tommy's luck.

They stared at each other and he was about to run off and reached for his grappling hook on his pants...wait...he wasn't in vigilante clothing right now...

"Holy shit...the Blade?", was all Tommy could muster up to say for the moment.

"Yeah...Uhm...wait...you look so familiar...", the Blade mumbled and Tommy coughed awkwardly.

"No I don't...speaking of not doing anything, I might go ahead and just leave.", he shuffled back awkwardly and walked across the building roof. He could still hear George calling from the bottom of the building and the Blade talking to George.

Thank god that the Blade didn't work for the government-

Oh wait.

He did.

Tommy looked at him with wide eyes and the Blade slowly walked closer to him, "Hey kid, that kind police man just told me you're missing, mind coming with me to the police station?"

He walked further to the edge of the roof, where was Clementine when he needed her? God, curse her always ditching him when he needed that little Racoon.

"Yeah...your hero antics won't work for me! For I am Tommy the great- I mean, I am Wilbur Spoon! The great man who is in fact not a kid!"

The hero just stared at him, cape swishing very majestically in the cool autumn breeze. Haha...majestic sounds like test-

No no! We must think of a solution to this problem men, now, Tommy had two options, either turn himself in or scream or throw a glitter bomb at the Blade and run.

Tommy chose the last option.

"Wait! Before you catch me...would you like to play catch?" 

The Blade stared at him and then shrugged, "I suppose. Do you have a ball?"

He grinned at the hero with an evil glint in his eyes and pulled out a ball that looked almost like a bomb...

"Catch motherfucker!", Tommy threw the ball over his shoulder and jumped from the rooftop he was on onto the next one, behind him, he could hear the Blade scream for him to stop and then let off a girly scream.

The glitter bomb clearly had done it's magic because when he turned around for just a moment, he saw the Blade in a heavy amount of glitter that maybe was mixed with a little bit of unicorn stickers. 

Tommy just continued to jump across rooves, albeit a bit slower than usual because he didn't have his grappling hook.

Wow, his pog escape and glitter plan really had worked.

Who doesn't love a little bit of plot armor?

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WOWWWW BADDIES AND BUDDIES!

YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! NEW YEAR NEW ME! I DID JUST RELEASE A CHAPTER! WOOOHOOOO

okay, in all seriousness I was just on my laptop two hours ago and was like: shit I haven't done something productive in like five days...SO I WROTE A CHAPTER AND PUBLISHED IT.

That's my cat in the beginning btw

I'll start publishing more and the fire of love for Wilbur Soot and Tommy Innit has resparked because of the concert I saw. Anyways, update on my life:

I'm in a new grade and a bunch of my friends left :(; my grades have, in fact, not improved; I got a pony and have a fat picture of Wilbur Soot above my head when I sleep. I went to a Lovejoy concert and screamed "My cat is named after you, Wilbur" and he laughed! It was awesome and pog and super fun. Lolzies, I should head back to Sephora now.

Bye bye my little biscuits~

(Words: 1191)