'Til We Meet Again Book 2

Chapter 49

I see Deshaun run down the hall to me "What the fuck happened?" Deshaun asks me clearly panicked "Jared, her dad, pushed her down the stairs in her apartment building" I tell him "Are you sure it was him?" Deshaun asks me "I don't know, Kristy described to me his features and they match up to that motherfucker in that black hoodie" I can't contain my anger "How the fuck did he find her?" Deshaun asks yelling "Jefferson must have told him" I tell Deshaun "Fuck" Deshaun mumbles "Is she okay?" He asks me "She is fine, the nurse told me she is in a medical-induced coma" I sigh

"Why the fuck is she in a coma?" Deshaun asks me, as I'm about to answer him Shanice comes running over to us "I had to get out of clubbing with some friends from work because my best friend is laid up in the hospital, what the fuck did you do to my best friend?" She yells "Calm down Shanice, I didn't do anything to her" I shake my head "Is he lying?" She asks Deshaun "No, her dad knocked her down the stairs and--" Deshauns eyes widen "Oh god, is the baby okay?" Deshaun asks me sounding scared "She had a miscarriage" I look down at the floor "I swear to god if you're the reason why my best friend is laid up in the hospital I'll fuck you up" I glare at Shanice "Yo, tell your wife to calm the fuck down I'm not in the fucking mood to hear her bullshit" Deshaun glares at me "Ehh thats my wife you talkin' about" I glare at him "I don't give a fuck, I don't need her threatening me when I'm stressing over Amanda" I yell at him.

Deshaun turns to his wife "Go check on, Amanda" Shanice nods "Sure thing" Shanice walks away giving me a glare. I sit on the chair with Deshaun, we both don't say anything to each other. What is there to say? At times like these, silence is the only option, praying for a loved one to wake up in silence is more painful than telling someone you hope to God they would wake up. I just don't know anymore. A few hours has passed, it's now 4 in the morning. Deshaun and Shanice have left less than an hour and I'm about to head home. I leave the hospital and head home for the night.

I walk inside my house and I roughly shut the door causing a loud bang, my house is dark but not dark as in the lights are all off but dark is in loneliness. Being lonely is killing me, I'm not handling this divorce as well as I should. I've been portrayed publicly as a sadistic, selfish, cold-hearted, misogynist motherfucker but nobody truly knows me. Nobody knows how much hurt I can take, nobody knows what my loneliest days look like, nobody knows the love I hold in my heart, they believe what I say in songs is who I am. I'm not Slim Shady, I'm not Eminem, I'm Marshall Mathers all day, every day. I make it to my bed and lie under the covers, staring at the ceiling.

It doesn't feel right for me to be in this bed, to be at home at all when Amanda is in the hospital bed, hooked up to machines. I took her phone so when she wakes up I can bring it back to her. The phone rings and I check the caller ID; it says Cole, why is he calling her phone? Does he not know what happened to her? I answer it "Hey baby, I miss you so much" Cole says "Are we still gonna talk about us when you get back to LA?" What the fuck? How does he not know she had an accident? "Cole, it's Marshall" I announce "Marshall, what the fuck you doing with her phone? Where is Amanda?" Cole asks yelling "Yo, calm the fuck down dawg, Amanda had an accident and now she is layed up in the fucking hospital" I tell him "What accident? Is she okay? Why do you have her phone? When did this happen?" Cole asks me a million questions "One question at a time, you're driving me insane" I yell "Her dad found her and pushed her down the steps when she was about to get into her apartment" I explain to him "Is she okay? Can I talk to her?" Cole sounds really panicked "She is in a medical induced coma but she is gonna wake up maybe in a few hours or a few days, the doctor told me she had sustained an injury to her head which caused a swelling in her brain"

I hear Cole smash something "I'm gonna kill that motherfucker" I don't think it's my place to tell him but since Amanda is out for a bit and she lost the baby I'm gonna talk for her "There is something else" The other end of the line goes dead silent, I can hear Coles aggressive breathing "Last month Amanda and I slept together twice and she lost our baby" I break the ice "How? Why?" Cole asks, I know this is going to cause a dent in their relationship but, to be honest, I don't want her with him, she should be with me. 

I explain to him how we got together "Do you have feelings for her?" Cole asks me "I'm in love with her" I haven't said this out loud to anyone "Well too fucking bad, Amanda wants to be with me which is why she called me to talk about us" I know Cole is smirking through the phone right now, as he should, I'm severely fucked up and I'm only gonna end up destroying her life "You deserve her, dawg" I accept defeat "She doesn't need someone like me to destruct the perfect life she made for herself with you"

You never truly understand how in love you are with someone until you accept defeat because you know yourself all too well, you know what you are capable of and someone as innocent and as delicate as Amanda shouldn't go through the hell of a life I'm living right now. I take drugs, I drink, I fuck bitches, I'm always on the news, she doesn't need all that drama in her life. She doesn't need to be constantly worried if I've OD in an alley somewhere in Michigan, or I'm passed out on a bench with a bottle of liquor in my hands, she doesn't need to worry if I'm out fucking some groupie who I didn't care to get her fucking name. She doesn't need all that

"Well thanks for seeing it that way" Cole hangs up the phone on me and I place it back on the nightstand. I get up and leave my room, I head to the kitchen and open the cabinet, I grab my bottle of vodka and pop the top open. I down almost the whole bottle of vodka, anger gets the best of me, I throw the bottle of vodka against the wall causing it to shatter and liquid spill everywhere on the floor. I grab a few more bottles of my liquor and throw them. Glass is everywhere, liquid is spilled all over the floor, my living room reeks of alcohol. I fucked up, I know.