Day by Day

Chapter 9- At the very least

The color I would describe my heart with would be silver.

Why silver?

Silver is a cold color, yet it's pretty. The metal silver is hard, yet it's valuable.

Maybe that is how I consider my heart. It's cold and hard, but at the same time, it's beautiful and worth it.

But my heart is also really dark and painful. If my heart was a puzzle, it would be missing a piece. An incomplete puzzle with jagged edges. No wonder no one ever wants to look at it.

I've got plenty of time to try because my heart is still alive. Life still beats through it.

****

I woke up in the morning. I ate my cheerios and drank my milk.

It's a regular morning in Ashley world.

Honestly, life is boring sometimes. I don't have to wake up; I don't have to do anything if I don't want to. Really, the only two things I HAVE to do are live and die.

But I did wake up because I never know when life is going to change.

Jason is becoming quite a regular figure in my life. He texted me, asking me to come to his place for lunch. I said sure, only because he is making an effort. I would absolutely avoid him otherwise. I must be a pro at protecting myself, especially from people like Jason because I have yet to fall for his stupid charms.

The big dislike I have against me going to Jason's den would be that I'm going in without knowing what to expect. I hate walking into something unprepared.

I guess everybody walks into stuff unprepared. Hey, we all enter life without a clue of what to expect. Like for example, when I was a kid, I wanted to be a superstar. There's nothing wrong with dreams, but... yeah. I think everyone dreams of being a superstar until they actually are one. Then they just want to be normal.

I was never a superstar, but I did get the opportunity to be in the school talent show one year. I kept saying that I was going to do it; it was going to happen. Well, that's what I said until my moment came. When the big moment arrived, I got scared and backed out of the audition. Maybe I was scared of my abilities being judged; I hate being judged. So much for me being a superstar. Normal was enough for me.

Upon arriving at my destination, I knocked on the door to Jason's guy cave. He appeared shortly after and lead me into his cavern. I feel kind of like an innocent little bunny.

"Welcome to my den." He greeted me.

"Um thanks," I awkwardly sat down on this navy blue couch in his little living room. His place wasn't terrible. Everything looked pretty clean, and there weren't clothes and other junk littered all over the floor, which is always a good sign. But then again, Jason could have just been frantically cleaning up minutes before I came. See, I never try to assume stuff from its outward appearance; I never do.

Jason was resting against a wall, watching me take in the appearance of his place. I figured I should say something more. "So, do you share this place with any of your friends?"

"Uh, actually yeah, I do." He brushed something out of his eye.

I raised my eyebrow as if to ask, "Who?"

"You wouldn't like any of my friends." Jason stated, like he knew me so well that he knew exactly what kind of people I would and wouldn't like.

I defensively folded my arms across my chest. "Why wouldn't I like them?"

"Well," Jason smirked. "One of them is a registered sex offender, a couple of them just recently got out of jail for... you know, I don't know what they did, one of them..." He stopped when he saw my face. "I think you get the picture."