Day by Day

Chapter 18- Might be

Never would I ever say the past is bad. I sometimes regret what I did in it, but I'm not saying it's bad. The past is a good thing. It gives us something to look back on.

We just can't look at the past forever. The future needs to be focused on at some point.

When visiting places like the grand canyon, the best advice is to stay away from the cliff. Don't get too close to the edge of a cliff. That only makes the potential to fall off much greater.

Wouldn't you rather stand away and be able to say there were no cliffs in my life?

 Most rear view mirrors always have the message that says objects in mirror are closer than they appear. It's a warning.

Good drivers should look back out of their rear view mirrors. They should; they just shouldn't all the time. Just staring full fledged through the rear view mirror, that would be stupid. We all know that. Once in a while we need a different perspective. Can't look at the same thing forever. Sooner or later, the person at the wheel has got to look forward. Sooner is preferable.

We always prefer sooner. Keep in mind, objects are closer than they appear. Look back to know they're there. Look forward so you don't have to see them.

Well, whatever helps me sleep better at night. Usually when I'm trying to sleep, I don't think about the past then. I think about it often enough as it is. Fantasies crowd my mind in that drowsy time before sleep occurs. They help me sleep, but the next morning it all seems dumb. Don't know why I thought of it.

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 Be what you want. Don't always listen to me. I'm not the smartest person in the world.

I say a lot of stupid things. A person should at some point reach a limit as to how many foolish things come out of their mouths. Experience is supposed to eliminate those kinds of things. Experience- the one thing I always seem to be lacking in.

For example, you know those construction people you see out the window? They're working, building places and constructing places. I always think about what they do. It doesn't just take knowledge; it takes experience. Those people just can't know what they're doing; they have to understand it.

The person who happens to be me obviously has times when she doesn't know what she's doing. Enough said.

In the usual way I say stuff that I don't want to, and I get stuck doing it.

Today I'm wishing I hadn't ever thought about something which I said I wouldn't. Like when people ask me questions right after I open my mouth and take a bite of food. I wish they wouldn't. I wish I hadn't told Jason I'd think about being his PA.

My intention was to get him off my back, but I believe the guy is hard of hearing. He must have heard yes, though I most definitely did not say yes. I will try my best not to make fun of his impaired ability.

Seriously though, I came in to work the next morning, and everyone was like Oh Avery, congratulations! And I'm like what?

And of course the guy who is responsible for all my troubles just stood there in the middle of it all, smirking. Or was he grinning? Not important, but nevertheless I was made upset. No wiggling out of it.

The jerk got his stupid way. That is what upset me. I liked the fewer hours; I liked the bigger salary. Those are the things that kept me from quitting.

So here I am today. Who knows exactly how long I've been stuck working for Jason? A couple weeks? I just know that I've been forced to spend too much time with him. It's bad for my health.