Izzy x Fern Oneshot

Incorrect Quotes

Izzy: Fern was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some. 

Fern: Well, they shouldn't say "all you can eat" if they don't mean it. 

Izzy: Fern, you ate a chair.

Izzy: Am I in trouble? 

Fern: Take a guess. 

Izzy: No? 

Fern: Take another guess.

Izzy: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars. 

Fern: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

Izzy: *Gets down on one knee* 

Fern: Oh my god, it's finally happening. 

Izzy: *Falls over* 

Fern: The poison is kicking in.

Izzy: Three words. Say them and I'm yours. 

Fern: Three words. 

Izzy:

Izzy: Today is a day of running through hurdles. 

Fern: Aren't you supposed to jump OVER hurdles? 

Izzy: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

Fern: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Izzy: That's why I carry two swords.

Izzy: You love me, right, Fern? 

Fern: Normally, I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it.

Izzy: Fern and I don't use pet names. 

Adrian: I see. Hey, what do bees make? 

Izzy: Honey? 

Fern: Yes, dear? 

Izzy:

 Adrian: Don't ever lie to my face again.

Store Worker: Would a Ms. Izzy please come to the front desk? 

Izzy, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? 

Store Worker: *points to Fern and Adrian* 

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you? 

Fern and Adrian, simultaneously: We got lost :( 

Izzy: I didn't even bring you guys here with me-

Izzy: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time? 

Fern: The car takes a screenshot. 

Adrian: For the last time, get the fuck out.

Izzy, texting Fern: Fern! Help I'm being kidnapped 

Fern: Where are you? 

Izzy: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help. 

Fern: I'll call Adrian. 

Adrian, answering he's cellphone: Hello? 

Fern: Where's Izzy? She texted me that she was being kidnapped. 

Adrian: Izzy? What do you mean, she's right next to me- 

Adrian: 

Adrian: I'll call you back. *hangs up* 

Adrian: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD! 

Izzy: WHO ARE YOU?!

Izzy: Are you sure this is the right direction? 

Fern: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest! 

Adrian: In that case, we're definitely lost.

Izzy, trying to ask Fern out: Would you like to stay for dinner? 

Adrian: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

Izzy: Fern and I are having a baby.

Adrian: That's gre-

Izzy, slamming the adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

Izzy: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three- 

Izzy and Fern, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks! 

Javi: Our turn, Amelia! One, two, three- vanilla! 

Amelia, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

Cop: You're receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Izzy: Shit.

Fern: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Amelia: OH MY GOD JAVI FELL OFF!!!

Izzy: Why are your tongues purple? 

Javi: We had slushies. I had a blue one. 

Amelia: I had a red one. 

Izzy: oh 

Izzy: 

Izzy: OH 

Fern: 

Fern: You drank each other's slushies?