A story filled with laughter, humor and excitement.
Loves comes in all shapes, color and form. It's made out of stone hearted that shapes up our life differently. Loves makes the strong weak, and weak strong.
In this messy and chaotic world, when t...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
She wasn't happy. Nor was she sad. There's a deep chaotically beautiful emotion about being numb. No matter what you do, nor do you expect anything nor do you want anything. Is this how having no expectation feels?
Humans are predictable creatures. Even though some say that they have no expectations from anyone or anything, inside their mind even they know they are lying. In order to survive, live you have to expect. You go to sleep one night, expecting to wake up the next day, you leave for your work, expecting a day full of works and meetings, you hug your loved ones expecting the feeling of being loved. One simply cannot live without expectations. And those who truly don't expect anything from anyone, they are called dead. Alive but not a living being.
Patralekha liked called herself who had no expectations from anyone or anything. Even this useless life she's forced to leave. Everyday when she goes to sleep she doesn't expect herself to wake up the next day, her voice now don't hers anymore nor does her face that once had a radiant smile and eyes full of hope and light. She lost everyone, including herself. She doesn't know the messy haired, lips cracked from dehydration, lifeless eyes with eyebags anymore.
It's not you.
I know it's not. But now I don't think I ever wanna know. Not anymore.
How many times had her mind contemplated whether or not to pull herself out of this misery? Only by popping those pills. How many times had she stared at the knife or the blade too long to be for a normal reason? How many times can she stop herself from degrading herself over and over again? Her mental health was not good, far away from normal. The suicidal tendencies were going up a notch. And she fears one day she's gonna give up in front of those desires. The stamina is slowly coming to an end.
Sometimes she thinks, it was that one incident that snatched away the ground beneath her feet. One man. The way he managed to hold her last threads so delicately was now the man who hates her being. She knows she'll never try to pacify or make him understand her. Just like she said, because she cannot leave this wrecked place now, the pain, the clench her heart used to give when someone said something wrong, the pain, it soothes her.
Or maybe deep inside she knew that, if she were to ever try and make him understand,
He would understand.
He didn't deserve me. Nobody deserves an useless mad woman who dreams of a certain paradise. Nobody knows about the darkness that lures in her eyes, in her heart. Maybe he did. And that's the reason why they kicked me out.
He never did.
They simply didn't wanted a murderer residing with them. The worst kind of murderer, a mother who killed a 15 week child. Accidentally. Her mind whispered, but it was not what they said. They said she willingly did it. She didn't bothered doing anything to reduce their misunderstanding about the situation. Not even when the said man looked at her with tears in his eyes, eyes that were pleading her to tell him that it was not true. Maybe he was growing attached.
