Whitewashed Dreams (A Chat blanc Story)

❦If I don't make sense, forgive me, I can't sleep at night❦

"Okay, I am willing to answer all of your questions Chat" Says MJ sipping his hot coco. The view is beautiful from up here: a resort of sorts right in the Alps.

"All questions?"

"Well questions I could answer obviously. Don't ask the size of the sun because I don't know it. It's big?"

"What is the meaning of life then?" I ask jokingly.

"Well that is up to each and everyone what life means to them. Ultimately, life means nothing. You eat,sleep and procreate and that is all that creatures, big and small, do. What makes intelligent creature, such as ants, different from plant is that they have the drive to help and protect the colony in their best interest. That is their meaning of life. Their lives are for the colony. They are tools, mediums, for the colony to prosper and survive. What makes you and me different from ants is that we can push that boundary even further. We are more than just tools, we are rational beings that uses tool for our benefits. For some, surviving is enough of a life. Others it's making a dream come true. Finding love. Be the best of yourself. Following religious order. Life is that, it's life. It's beautifully tragic. A curse as well as a gift. What one does with it and how one defines it is life to them. Maybe that is the beauty of life, it means nothing yet it what gives value to the universe. Life is just that, life... A wild ride. What that means is that it is up to your own interpretation. Want some more coco?"

I nod and accept extra coco. Got to admit, it is really good.

"Let me ask you this then MJ. What is life for you?"

He looks at me, and all of a sudden starts laughing

"To me, life is a prison, a hole you are thrown into and forced to live and find sense of this life. Basically I am here to suffer. I know, what a jolly idea. May I ask you Chat, what is your own interpretation of life?"

I look out the window. What a lovely view.

"To be honest I have no idea at all..."

~~~

I just want to be free from this, all of this running and hiding. Why can't life go back to normal?

It's a curse, that's what miraculous are!

I pull out my ring and throw it to the wall. Plagg comes in the room with a piece of cheese in hand. He looks at me, looks down, eats the cheese and picks up the ring. He lays it next to me and sits on my pillow.

"Hey kid... I know how you felt, I was there remember...stuck with you nevertheless. You need time to deal with this. Maybe even a therapist?"

"I can't do this anymore, I am done running in circles! Life feels like a nightmare!" I jump out of bed and head to the window. Even jumping out of it I won't be able to die, the fall is too short. Do I want to die?

"I need a miracle."

"No you need to get a hold on yourself. Adrien..."

"I don't know what to do..."

I sit down with my head buried in my hands.

"Yustin died yesterday...he died saving me. What did I do to deserving to live more than him? He save me... and I killed billions. Why am I even alive... What did I DO?!"

"Adrien, we can't decide who lives or not. What Yustin did was his choice and his choice alone. You didn't pull the trigger, you didn't place him in front of you. It isn't your fault at all."

Knock Knock

"Yeah who is that?"

"It's me Adrien...Mari... Can I come in?" She opens the door and come sit on my bed