Whitewashed Dreams (A Chat blanc Story)

❦Waves❦

Just an introduction to well, Chat's state of mind

I wake up in between these 4 walls, keeping me prison. I try to shake off the feeling of confusion and disorientation, but it clings to me like a heavy blanket. I try to remember how I got here, but my mind is foggy, and the memories are just out of reach.

I am alive, but I am not sure how. The world around me is foreign, and I am left feeling alone and lost. I am filled with guilt, as I cannot shake the feeling that I should not be here, that I should not have survived when so many others did not. I try to remember how I got here, but my memories are hazy and incomplete. I have snippets of memories, but they do not make sense, they are not coherent. MJ is in the centre of it all.

I try to recall the people I used to know, but their faces are distant and blurred. I can't remember their names, their voices, their laughter. I try to force the memories, but they slip through my fingers like sand. I am consumed by the feeling that I am not supposed to be here, that I should not have survived.

My princess

I am filled with guilt for being alive, when so many others are not. I cannot shake the feeling that I should have been there, that I should have been able to save them. I am haunted by the memories of the past, and the mistakes I have made. I am consumed by guilt and regret, unable to shake the feeling that I could have done things differently.

I am lost in a sea of uncertainty, and I am unable to find my way back to the shore. I am adrift, and the waves of my emotions pull me under, threatening to drown me in a sea of despair. The confusion that surrounds me is overwhelming. I am lost in a sea of confusion and despair, unable to find my way back to reality.

I try to make sense of my new reality, but it is like trying to solve a puzzle with missing pieces. I am unable to understand how I got here, and why I am alive. I am consumed by the feeling that I do not belong here, that I should not be alive.

I am plagued by the thought that maybe I died, and this is some sort of afterlife. But if it is, it is not the afterlife I had imagined. It is not the peaceful, eternal rest that I had hoped for. It is a never-ending cycle of guilt and confusion, and I fear that I may be stuck in this state forever.I am filled with a sense of longing for the people I used to know, for the life I had before. I am consumed by the feeling that I should be with them, and that I am not supposed to be here, alone. But as the days pass, I realize that maybe this is my punishment for my past mistakes, for not being able to save them.

I drift in and out of reality, unable to tell where one ends and the other begins. The lines are blurred, and I am left feeling lost and confused. The memories of my past mix with the dreams of my present, creating a never-ending spiral of guilt and uncertainty.

I am consumed by a sense of emptiness, as if a part of me is missing. I try to hold onto the fragments of my reality, but they slip through my fingers like sand. The more I try to grasp them, the more they slip away, leaving me feeling powerless and alone.

The dreams that consume me are vivid and surreal. I am transported to a world where anything is possible, and yet, I am unable to escape the feeling of despair that follows me like a shadow. I am surrounded by beauty, but it is tainted by a feeling of loss and longing.

I am haunted by the memories of my past, and the mistakes I have made. I am consumed by guilt and regret, unable to shake the feeling that I could have done things differently. The weight of my actions presses down on me, suffocating me, and I am unable to move forward.The confusion that surrounds me is overwhelming. I am lost in a sea of uncertainty, and I am unable to find my way back to the shore. I am adrift, and the waves of my emotions pull me under, threatening to drown me in a sea of despair.

I am not sure how much time has passed, and I am unsure if I am awake or asleep. The line between reality and dream is blurred, and I am unable to distinguish one from the other. The world around me is a blur, and I am unable to focus on anything.I am stuck in a never-ending cycle of guilt, confusion, and despair. I am lost in a dreamlike state, unable to escape the pain and suffering that consumes me. I am drifting, and I fear that I may never find my way back to reality.

I can't stop the tears from flowing, they come uncontrollably, driven by the guilt and confusion that consumes me. I try to hold them back, to be strong, but it's no use. The weight of my actions press down on me, suffocating me, and I am unable to escape the feeling of despair that follows me like a shadow.

The tears won't stop, they come in waves, crashing over me, drowning me in a sea of emotion. I am lost, and I fear that I may never find my way back to the shore. I am adrift, and the only thing that is certain is the feeling of guilt and confusion that consumes me.

 Tears...they flow down my face uncontrollably as I lay in bed, trying to cry myself to sleep. The guilt consumes me, and I am unable to escape the feeling that I am responsible for the deaths of my family and friends. I should have been there for them, should have protected them, but instead, I am here, alive, while they are gone.

I replay the events in my head over and over, trying to find something, anything, that I could have done differently. But no matter how hard I try, I can't shake the feeling that it's all my fault. I should have been there, should have been stronger, but instead, I was weak, and now they are gone.

I think of my family, of the way my mother used to smile, how Marinette used to make me happy... even the way my father used to laugh years ago. I think of my friends, of the way they used to make me feel like I belonged, like I was a part of something. And now they are gone, they are all gone.

I am alone.

The tears flow harder as I think of all the things I will never get to say to them, of all the things I will never get to do with them. I am consumed by guilt, and I can't shake the feeling that if I had been there, if I had been stronger, they would still be here.

"Okay, that is enough crying for today." I tell myself as I lay in bed, tears still streaming down my face. I try to take deep breaths, to calm myself down, but the emotions are still too raw, too overwhelming. I try to remind myself that it's okay to grieve, to feel the pain, but it's hard to find solace in those words when the guilt and sadness are still so heavy.

I close my eyes, hoping that sleep will come, but my mind is still racing with thoughts and regrets. I try to focus on something else, anything else, but the memories of my loved ones, the ones I lost, keep coming back, stronger and more vivid.

I let out a sob, feeling the weight of my grief crushing me. I try to remind myself that it's okay to cry, to feel the pain, but it's hard to shake off the feeling of guilt that I am alive and they are not.

I lay there, tears still streaming down my face, trying to find a way to cope with the pain and find peace in the memories of the people I loved and lost. Eventually, exhaustion takes over and I drift off to sleep, still crying.