CHRISTIAN GAY

7

Adam's POV:
"Sir, what if I'm gay?"

The calm look changed into a bewildered one.

"Wait. What?"

I didn't know what to do with his reaction. It was far from what I expected, although I thought it could happen. He was surprised and his face looked a bit funny that I wanted to laugh. I had to struggle with letting the laugh escape my lips.

Somehow, the reaction was funny yet unappealing to me. I don't know what else to expect. I wonder if my sexuality is safe with this man. If he could be surprised and couldn't even control it, he must be homophobic. Yeah. Homophobic. That's the word. Maybe he's a Conservative like my parents.

I heaved a sigh.

"Actually, what I wanted to say is that...umm..."

"That you're gay.", He cut me short. That was after he regained his composure. He seemed to be cautious anyways. Not as relaxed as he was earlier. Maybe I'm just overthinking this, but he looks different to me.

"Not really, sir. I wanted to say that maybe..."

"You think you're gay? Maybe you think you're gay, right?", He wouldn't let me finish my sentence. Even though, I wasn't going to say something different.

"It's a supposition, sir. Just thinking, what implication will it be if, umm, not me now, maybe any student in this school is confirmed gay?"

I thought maybe if I wasn't the focus, it would probably yield better results. The atmosphere was no longer conducive and I need to help the situation the best I could.

"Just as an example.", I quickly chipped in to affirm the first question.

He sighed. "I'm sorry for my reaction. It was uncalled for."

Really? Wow! I wasn't expecting that. I felt like it would be normal, most especially around here, to be shocked and probably scared when you find out someone is gay. Isn't it?

"First of all, I need to make you feel at home, alright? So, don't be scared, your secrets are safe with me. Back to your question, I guess my reaction should give you a glimpse of what can happen if anyone is found to be gay in here.

I shouldn't do that, but, let's leave it as it is. What I know is that, Gayism is not Godly. And I believe you are a Christian, aren't ya?"

I nodded.

"Ok. So, are you gay by any chance?"

"No sir.", I replied immediately. I need to make sure I'm not gay, at least to the public.

"Are you sure? It's alright. We can talk about it and find a way out.'

That drew me in. "A way out?", I was curious. I never thought there could be a way out. Is it medical? Therapy? Or what? Spiritual? Will I have to fast? I don't really like fasting.

"By His Grace, yes. I believe there is nothing God cannot do. So, if you just surrender..."

I didn't want to hear the rest he had to say. I wasn't expecting that. I thought there was a kind of method, pattern or something. He was just trying to apply faith. It's clear he is not even sure. I believe God can do all things but, I've not heard of people being disoriented sexually from what they were oriented towards at first.

"Sir, do you have any example of someone that God has changed their sexuality? Like, from being gay to being heterosexual?"

There was a pause. He wanted to say something but he pursed his lips for a moment.

"I don't have any example actually. But, I believe in deliverance and transformation. I think you need that too."

I felt attacked, if that can explain how I felt realizing that this man will think I'm the gay in question. Though I am, you don't have to think so. That's the plan.