CHRISTIAN GAY

17

Reuben's POV:
God can be a lot of things to different people. Some think he's above the sky, hence a Sky Daddy, some think he once existed but, even if he still exists, he cares no more about the world. Some believe he doesn't exist at all and that life and matter exists due to some inexplicable eruption or say, explosion. But, the weird part is that, some strongly believe that God is none of these things, but that He lives in us. Among all the theories, this one seems unbelievable yet obvious in these fellows. With the way they do wondrous things, you would be out of doubts in the long run.

I didn't know where all that was coming from but it was like a retelling of what I've read somewhere. My ride home was not the usual. The journey was longer in my head because I just wanted to go home and lay my head. I couldn't stop thinking about what Adam said although I didn't want to. I felt torn between two opposing sides but I have no say and choice. Something on the inside started throbbing me. Maybe it was my conscience, I can't say. But it seemed to be acting in response to my thoughts and struggles. Some minutes after, which felt like hours, the cab got to my house and I alighted.

I strolled inside and heaved a loud sigh. It was loud some nobody was inside. I went upstairs to my room and started muttering my thoughts to myself.

This my guy is just so funny. God? How does He expect God to deal with something like this? Has He ever been so interested? Why is my Mum and Dad still staying separate? Why do I find love away from home and from same sex as mine? I scoffed.

Then something dropped in my mind. It was in my thoughts but like an expression. It went like: What if they're still like that because they didn't seek Him.

I scoffed again. I replied the voice out loud: "Seek who?"
God. It was an immediate response. I got scared in an instant. I looked around. I was the only one in my room but I had an eerie feeling of someone around and very close to me. I tried to shake it off and went downstairs. I went to the kitchen and took a Coke from the fridge.

I would have loved to inquire further from what I heard but I was scared. I couldn't explain my fears but something inside me felt so guilty and the voice seemed purer and better than myself. I felt judged by it's expression and I didn't want anymore of it, so I tried to silence it. I couldn't think through so I decided that he best thing for me was to accept who I was.

I'm gay and that's it. Nothing can change it. It's just miserable to find a way out.

I sighed.

I took a bite from the apple in my hand and just then, my Mum came into the house.

"Reuben! Are you back?", She called as she entered.

"Yes ma!" I answered from the kitchen and walked out to the living room.

"Good. Go upstairs and pack your things. We are leaving."

That was sudden. "Leaving? To where? Why? Why now? What happened?"

"I can't answer all that. We are leaving to another state, so just do as I say and treat this as urgent.", She said firmly.

I still couldn't take it. I wanted to say something but she shushed me and pointed upstairs. Reluctantly, with the apple in my right hand, I walked sluggishly toward the stairs. Then, I remembered something. Adam.

I turned around and met my Mum behind me. I was taken aback. "Mummy?"

"What?"

"Please, I need to see someone before I go."

"No. You have nowhere to go."

"Please now. At least, you didn't tell me about this movement before now. I need to settle something asap." After much pleading, she yielded and I stormed out of the house to get in touch with Adam at his place.

Unfortunately, when I got to his house, nobody was at home. I knocked the door and called several times but no one answered. I cursed under my breath.

I went back home unhappy, that I couldn't even say 'Goodbye' and the most painful part is the the fact that I couldn't find the answers to my thoughts because Adam seems to know more than I do about the voice I heard. I felt lost and alone. I got home and went to pack my things. That was the last time I saw Adam.

Thanks to everyone who read up to this point. It's the seventeenth chapter and I'm glad for the progress. Please share if you find this interesting or intriguing and share how you feel about it in the comments. Thanks once again.