CHRISTIAN GAY

6

Adam's POV:
It was school hours. Lest I forget, it's real time, not my dreams. My dream seemed to be playing out before me though. Reuben wasn't in class. It was unusual. And I was restless all through the first period, although it wasn't obvious. I was sitting calm trying very hard to listen to my Class Teacher but, all my efforts to make sense out all he was saying were rendered futile.

I just couldn't stop thinking about Reuben. I hope everything is alright? It is so unusual for him to be late like this. The way I'm thinking about this guy, I hope the whole script of the dream I had last night won't play out. No, it'll be embarrassing. Cut the crap! I should be focused on the class! This is not right.

I got snapped out of my thoughts when the Teacher called my name. I didn't know how or when, but he was standing right before my desk. This must be Doomsday. He asked me about what he had been babbling on since so as to be sure I was concentrating.

I took a quick glance at the board to check the topic. Heat and Temperature. I sighed. I quickly went through my repertoire to fetch the knowledge I've gathered   reading books on Heat and related topics as such.

I would have had a great speech but when I looked around and saw the gaze of the whole class fixed on me, I felt swept off my feet. I went blank immediately. To say all this happened within seconds. It was too fast for me to cope with. I cleared my throat and returned my gaze on Mr. Fern, my Physics Teacher. He was expecting me to say something.

I had to regain my composure because I was getting lost, wondering what people would imagine could be the reason why I couldn't reply Mr. Fern. Those thoughts started rushing in again. What could be in their minds? Do they also think I'm gay? Will they think I have issues at home? What will they think about me?

I cleared my throat.

"Please sir, come again."

"According to what I've said so far, can you tell the whole class what are the forms of heat transfer?", He gestured with his arms.

The whole class. That's the problem.

I heaved a sigh to calm my mind. With forced confidence and gut I can't explain it's source, I replied. "I don't know sir." And, I bowed my head slightly to show remorse.

"I hope all is well, Adam. I knew you weren't concentrating on my explanation with the way you were looking blankly. Don't let this repeat itself. I won't take it lightly.", He was obviously surprised and dissatisfied.

"Yes sir.", I sat and raised my head to face the board.

Mr. Fern called another student and he explained the forms of heat transfer. It was when he said things about Convection, Conduction and Radiation, I knew messed up. I know those things! At that moment, I wish I could reverse time and make amendments to my shortcomings. How essential superpowers can be.

Few minutes later, the class was over. Then my mind switched on again. Reuben. Just when I wanted to walk out of the class, he walked in. My heart skipped on seeing him. I hated myself for that. I felt shy all of a sudden. I wanted to hide from his presence yet I wanted to stay.

I felt like yelling. I wanted to cry.

I shouldn't be feeling this for a guy!

I've read a couple of romance novels and I could remember vividly well, that these were the symptoms those who fall in love experience. But, I least expected I would ever feel the same for a guy.

My mind went straight to Evelyn. I never felt the same way for Evelyn as much as I do now for Reuben. As much as this hurts, I can't deny it. Sometimes, I feel a bit of attraction, probably due to the closeness, but I simply take her as a friend and nothing else.