CHRISTIAN GAY

13

Adam's POV:

"Sir, the thing is...", I paused for a few seconds.

"I'm listening.", The Counselor urged me to continue.

"The problem is that, I think I'm gay."

My heart skipped. But, I guess I wasn't the only surprised person in the room, regarding the expression on the Counselor's face.

I became flustered and even embarrassed as well. I started wondering where this would end up. I blamed myself seriously, for sustaining the thought of coming back for counseling just to experience this form of humiliation - if I must say.

I feigned a cough and the Counselor cleared his throat afterwards.

"Can I ask you something?"

"What sir?"

"Why do you think so?"

"What exactly?" I wanted to be certain.

"What else are we talking about here? Anyway, why do you think you are gay?" Yeah, that's the word. He had to mention it.

"I don't know if it's real but I can feel it somehow."

"How?"

I sighed. I don't know what happened but, I felt ashamed to talk about it. But he encouraged me and I couldn't hold back.

"I feel this weird attraction to my mate. Same sex."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Really?"

I nodded.

He was quiet for a while. "Since when have you been experiencing this?"

I couldn't pinpoint when exactly, but I think it was late last term. "Late last term.", I replied soberly.

He heaved a silent 'Wow'.

"How have you been coping with the whole thing? I bet it must have been a struggle.", He pressed further.

"Honestly, I can't say I'm coping at all. And that's why I'm here. To cope, in the real sense of it."

He sighed.

"But, what do you know about being gay? Biblically."

"That gay-ers would end up in hell?", I rolled my eyes.

"Something like that.", He nodded.

"But...", I wanted to say something but he cut me short. I didn't know what I wanted to say though, but the emotions were just enough to find expression.

"You know, I believe gayism is not of God. And as a child of God, you shouldn't be gay!" The intonation. "If any man be in Christ, you know what it says right?"

"He is a new creature. Old things are passed away and all has become new.", We chorused.

"Exactly. Being gay should not be heard amongst us as Christians. You can't be proud of it, you know. Or do you know of anyone who is proud being gay."

I chuckled. Reuben came to mind. I chuckled again. The Counselor observed my reaction and narrowed his eyebrows, facing me squarely.

"Do you know of any?"

My heart skipped. Why? I don't know.

"In school?"

"And out of school."

"Umm... I don't know of anyone in here, I know quite a few proud ones out there.", God saved Reuben.

"Oh! Really?"

"Yeah. And they are quite popular also. Take Boogie, for example."

"Who's that?", That must have been his first time hearing such name. He looked genuinely curious.

"Pardon me. You wouldn't know him sir, so never mind."

"Alright. But, Adam, Satan is a liar. Don't allow him lead you to error and perdition. You need deliverance. Whatever it is that you are feeling is the work of demonic influence and your only hope is freedom that comes through deliverance."

The last sentence scared me. My idea of 'deliverance' is not something I would ever want for myself. I've seen how deliverance sessions had gone in my Dad's church and they don't seem easy at the least. Fasting for long hours and then yelling during ministrations, as you ask for freedom. Also, the part of the demon tormenting your soul at those moments. It's scary.

"Thank you very much sir. Umm... I have to go for my next class.", My next class would start in ten minutes. And I had to round things up to change the trajectory of the whole conversation.

"Let's pray."

I bowed my head and we held hands across the table to pray. After the prayers, I thanked the Counselor and rushed to the classroom. As I was about entering the class, I bumped on the last person I would want to see at that moment. Reuben.

I hope I would be able to keep up with this. I should be more consistent and I know, but I've been just too busy with my schooling and my mental health.

N

ote: Boogie is a fictional character. Any semblance to anyone real individual is merely a coincidence. Thanks for understanding.

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