Chapter 10 - Struggle

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"Kain," I laughed, "trust me. I've ridden a horse before." I smiled at him, though I wasn't doing well at convincing him that I was safe to ride a horse. Though I've never ridden bareback and the thought of doing so made me nervous, it couldn't have been that hard, could it? Though he must have seen right through me because he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in possible annoyance. My shoulders sank. "Okay, I've ridden a horse before, but never bareback."

He simply nodded at me. No words could describe how unsettled I was by his silence. It made my stomach churn and sent a chill down my spine. Why did his eyes always have to be so cold? I looked down at my feet and tried to figure out something to say to break the silence between us. I ran one of my thumbs across the band of the sleeve that hugged my thin wrists, the loose sleeves themselves shifting with every movement I made. 

"Will ye' agree then, Christine?" Kain said, bringing a horse over by the reins. I looked up at his stallion, its jet black mane shining from the light that entered the stables. In silence I stepped forward and slowly rose my hand. I felt my fingers shaking as the horse stepped towards me, his nose blowing air against my palm as he took in my scent. I inched forward again, feeling Kain's careful gaze on me as I gently placed my hand on his snout. My shoulders relaxed the minute I felt him press against my hand. A smile came onto my lips as I smoothed a hand on his snout and towards his forehead.

"Lass?"

I looked over at Kain. There was a look on his face, one that told me he was both confused and awed. It was a strange combination on his face that seemed, well, normal for once. I couldn't stop the smile that came onto my lips. But remembering the question he had asked, my smile faded and I turned my attention back to the horse. The emotionless expression in its eyes gave me a false sense of certainty that I clung desperately to.

"Fine," I sighed. "But I swear to God, Kain—" my speech and attempt to threaten him broke off the moment his hands touched my sides and lifted me up so he could put me the horse. "H-Hey!" I cried. "W-Watch the bruises!"

His eyes seemed to widen for a second, though I couldn't tell. For some reason, his stony expression and intense turquoise eyes were so hard for me to read. But I did feel his hands loosen a bit the moment he placed me down again. Maybe this guy really could show sympathy. The moment he let me go, I wrapped my arms around my waist, took a deep breath, and tried to will the pain away.

"Forgive me," he said. "Ye' mask yer pain that I did no know ye' were still hurting." Kain mounted first this time, a move surprisingly graceful for someone with such a stocky build. I watch him as he reached out a hand for me, his eyes connecting with mine for a moment. And for that moment, with the way his eyes shone in the light, I felt a pang in my chest as I thought of Logan.

Even though they were polar opposites—Kain's dark hair, tan skin, blue eyes, and muscular build compared to Logan's honey-blonde hair, olive skin, green eyes, and slender but strong build; Kain's cold and Logan's warmth... every time I looked at Kain I saw Logan. Sometimes it was through the things he did that reminded me of Logan. Like when Kain stood over a table looking at maps, I could remember Logan standing in a similar fashion, drawing outlines for paintings. Or whenever Kain argued with his brothers, I could picture Logan arguing with some of Alan's other servants over something as simple as who got to pick which game to watch on the "tele" (soccer or hockey? Logan always vouched for hockey, the others for soccer). And even now, as Kain outstretched his hand, I could picture Logan reaching out to help me up after one of Alan's attack.

Then I realized I was standing there, just staring at the ground, and Kain was waiting impatiently for me to take his hand. I shook myself mentally and tried to put all thoughts of Logan aside with little success. I couldn't help but wonder how he was doing. "S-Sorry," I said. "I lost myself in my thoughts for a moment." I reached up to take his hand, but he quickly took my forearm and effortlessly pulled me up onto the space in front of him. I couldn't have stopped the small yelp of surprise that left my lips, even if I tried.

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